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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: SHOP (01/03/19)
Down the hill from Anna’s school sits a tiny shop that sells eclectic gifts and odd contraptions. Walking past the tiny shop one day, Anna noticed the sign in the window: “The Religion Store”. Her naturally curious nature compelled her to investigate. The shop appeared empty, but the heavy door creaked as it slowly opened at the slightest touch of her hand. As she bravely stepped inside, she felt that she had traveled back in time to the era of her grandparents. The only room was dimly lit, and it had no windows. The floor was made of small hardwood boards. Lamps of all sizes and shapes filled every available space and innumerable trinkets displayed on wooden counters and shelves filled the remainder of the room. On a counter about half way in she saw a small wooden box labeled “Religions”. Cards in the box gave information about every known religion. On each was written the name of the religion, followed by its beliefs and requirements as well as its price tag.

Deep in thought and exploration, Anna was startled by the sales associate who seemed to appear out of nowhere.

“Hello, Ma’am, may I help you find a religion?”

Anna answered him: “I am confused. You actually sell religions?”

“Yes Ma’am.” He sounded bored.

Anna continued, “Some of them are expensive. Most seem difficult with all the different dress codes and dietary restrictions. What if I missed one of their requirements, even by accident? How would I know if I had done well enough to please God?”

“Well, that’s for God to decide, now isn’t it!” He chuckled this time.

Anna continued reading about each religion but none of them felt right to her. Then, as she was getting ready to leave, she noticed way in the back of the box, a smaller card with the title, “Salvation by Grace”. It had no requirements or restrictions listed, only a stamp: “Paid in Full”.

Anna was interested: “Excuse me, sir, what is this little one that says, ‘Salvation by Grace’? It looks easy and it has no price tag.”

“Oh, that one”, he grumbled. “It is not really a religion, so it is not for sale here. It is all about entering a relationship with a Man named Jesus. He is God in the flesh who came to earth and did everything for us. He paid our sin debt. (All of us have one because all of us have sinned.) He purchased our forgiveness with His own blood. He met all the requirements necessary to get us in right relationship with God."

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16 NKJV)

Anna jumped in excitement, “How can I get that one?”

“Well, you know I can’t sell it to you because it is free. It is a gift from God. If you want it, you must tell Jesus that you accept His payment with His precious blood for your sin. Then tell Him that you want this new relationship with Him. He’ll take it from there."

This shopping trip to this tiny shop changed Anna’s life forever! Like a duck into water, she dove into “Salvation by Grace”. She gave her heart to Jesus because of His great love for her. Now she knows that she is saved, healed and delivered. She has become His new creation.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV)

Now that you know her story, you must make a choice. Will you keep trying to find a religion that is right for you or will you give up the search and choose “Salvation by Grace”?
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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This article has been read 469 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Corinne Smelker 
01/10/19
Very clever story - love the conversational tone of it.

One small thing - you mention the shop is one room, with no windows. Yet Anna noticed a sign in the window. Just a detail you might want to check.
Barbara Culler 
01/10/19
Interesting idea of a little shop of religions! You might want to read up on how these articles are judged, and what terms should be avoided. You are on the right track!
C D Swanson 
01/10/19
Great job with this! I enjoyed it fully and completely. Clever and unique approach to the topic on hand.

I really enjoyed this, thank you!

God bless~
Rachel Jamerson
01/11/19
Your story was interesting and informative. Great description concerning the way of salvation.

Good material - good work.
Bonnie Bowden 
01/13/19
Interesting take on this week's topic.

I think the first paragraph could be broken down into two or three smaller paragraphs.

Also instead of:

He sounded bored,

Change to:

He yawned (for example).

Keep up the good work!

Stephen Kimball
01/14/19
Clever. Really good idea. "bored" seemed like the wrong thing for the shop keeper to be - I was thinking more mystic. Great job - keep writing!
A Mattingly
01/14/19
I enjoyed this story and the creative use of the religion cards. I like the salesman's explanation of the Salvation card. If it were me, I would maybe leave out the last two paragraphs. Good job!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
01/16/19
I think this is super creative. You did a great job of thinking outside of the box. The beginning was a wee bit slow for me. Instead, I might suggest starting with the door creaking. It gave me a spooky feeling, and I was eager to keep reading after that line.
I liked the Bible quotes you used, they were a great fit for the message but they weren't quite connected to the story, so I'm not sure how Anna would have known about those verses unless the salesman quoted it. I thought maybe the salesman was still speaking when you quoted John 3:16, but since there was an end quote at the end of the previous paragraph and no single mark to show a quote within a quote, it felt a bit like you just put it in there. Next time, either use the scriptures as an end note or make it part of the story. For example, you could do something like this: The owner scratched his rotund belly, then reached around Anna and grabbed a Bible. "Look, you can see some of this ridiculousness in here." He flipped open the book and read, "'For God....' Hmm, that's in a book called John, the third chapter or so."
I know I added some arbitrary details, but wanted to show his boredom and general manners by having him scratch and reach around her. Although he just sold religion, perhaps he could've sold "trinkets" too, just to make it work. His words don't seem to quite fit the personality you gave him (which I loved and thought was quite developed for the limited word count), but with a bit of tweaking, you could make it work.
I also don't think you need the last paragraph or two. You did such an outstanding job of showing the reader your message that you don't need to tell it too. You've done a really fine job of writing on topic, delivering a great message, and being fresh and interesting.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
01/17/19
Congratulations on ranking 7th in your level. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.