Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: BUSY (02/02/17)
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TITLE: The Guest | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kristen Marie
02/07/17 -
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There was much to prepare today since she had invited a large group of guests to stay at her home. They were truly guests to be honored, and there was one guest in particular she intended to make her top priority.
She dashed about carrying two clay jugs. One was of olive oil and the other of sheep’s milk, both of which she needed her younger sister to set out on the table. Her younger sister, however, had not returned from the last errand, which was to bring out spiced wine for refreshment.
The eldest sister was feeling very frazzled. These guests were important to her, particularly the one guest; so much so that she had her brother prepare a goat for the meal. Meat was a special type of delicacy, typically served only on special occasions.
“Sister? Could you possibly go back out to the garden and bring in some figs from the tree?” she hollered. There was no reply.
“Where did that foolish girl go?” she thought. She was going to offer fresh fruits on the table that evening; she needed figs. Speaking of fruit, perhaps she could even send her guests off on their next journey with a string of dried dates or apricots. Yes, she would do that, but she could worry about doing that in the morning.
There was so much to do. The anxiety was beginning to get to her. Her hands shook a bit as she set down the jugs, and some of the sheep’s milk sloshed onto her arm. “I best fill another jug with vinegar for dipping,” she thought anxiously, “That will have to wait for now.” She ran over to the wheat flour she had spent many tedious hours milling earlier that afternoon.
She wanted to make her honored guest top priority so she had spent extra time bent over her hand stone, pulverizing the grain into powder. She assured that there would be no grittiness in her bread dough today. She added some water and stirred. She then transferred the stiff dough to a trough and frantically began kneading it. Her knuckles turned white.
She hoped at least her brother might be able to help a bit with preparing the accommodations. She kept the finest clothes and bedrolls in the higher storage spaces.
“Oh no I really wanted to air the bed linens out a bit. No time now,” she thought as she ran over to stir the stew that was beginning to bubble over.
She intended to serve the stew with the meat, some fresh bread for dipping, and perhaps some cheese and olives. All of which needed to be dished out and set on the table. Things were becoming overwhelming.
“Sister? Could you come here and please make the loaves so we can put them in the oven? Please, Sister!” she hollered. There was no reply.
She couldn’t recall how long her sister had been gone now, but she felt herself begin to grow furious with her sibling’s indifference to the duties of hospitality. After all, the guest of honor must be made top priority! She left the bread dough and simmering stew and angrily marched out to the garden.
Many of the guests as well as her brother were reclining and chattering over the spiced wine. She found her younger sister sitting crossed legged on the ground, quietly listening at the feet of the guest of honor.
“My Lord, Mary has left me alone to do all the work. Make her come back and help me,” the older sister spoke with frustration.
The guest of honor looked up and realized that the older sister had been cumbered with much serving. He smiled and gently spoke,
“Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her…”[1]
It was then that Martha realized that despite wanting to make Him her top priority, she had hardly had the time to see or speak to her guest since she had invited Him to stay.
[1] Luke 10:41, KJV.
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One thing that jumped out to me from a critique stand point was this: "Meat was a special type of delicacy, typically served only on special occasions." I feel like you did a great job of working all the customs of the time, so I feel like this statement was out of place. Not sure how to go about it, because it is an important detail.
Amazing piece! I love the truth at the end...being so busy that we forget to enjoy the company of our guest. May we all take that to heart.
You did a nice job of making it your own. I liked your opening, but might encourage you to paint more of a picture. For example:
Stopping to inhale, the aroma of cumin, leeks, and fresh garlic tickled her nose. <i> There's nothing like fresh ingredients to make my lentil soup the best around. It is a lot of work, but it will be worth it to hear all the praises. Being the eldest certainly has its burdens. </i> She stopped, smiled, and twirled her hair. Sighing, she closed her eyes and imagined the guest of honor oohhhing and aahhhing over her dinner and neat house.
I tried to build on what you started, but went a bit overboard to show you what I meant. I tried to tighten it up some too in order to leave more room for some of her ulterior motives. Of course you want to stay true to the Bible, but it is okay to add details and make it historical fiction.
You have some nice details. You're sentences flow nicely, and I think your ending was spot on. I truly enjoyed this from beginning to end.