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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Vote/Voted off the Island (05/29/14)
My apartment building was recently sold. I received a letter from my new landlord stating that the board of Green Tree apartments has reviewed my lease and has voted to raise my rent from Three hundred forty five to five hundred forty five starting July 1.That prompted the following prayer.

Dear Jesus,
I am feeling really angry today. I can't believe what this board has done. They have the right to raise the rent as high as they want, but give me thirty days notice. It's going to cost me two hundred dollars for rent, where's the money going to come from. Is this what they do to someone who has paid their rent on time? I think that should have given me more notice.

I didn't ask for this change. I know what I am about to say is unrealistic. If I was allowed to present my case to the board. I would have asked for more time. I would have told them I think that their business plan is flawed. Prior to last October there had not been a new tenant in the past two years. There have always been vacant apartments in this building, so why would they want to loose a renter that has always been on time. Lord, I wish my voice could have been heard before they made this decision.

Lord, thank you for the twelve years of cheap rent, but I'm also afraid because I've made some financial mistakes. The one thousand dollars it spent to replace the alternator on the Mercedes, I bought just about wiped me out. I would have been better for me to have owned a Kia.

I was negligent, when I didn't watch what my stock broker was doing. As a result, I lost fifty thousand dollars.

I left my job as an AV technician over a dispute with another employee. I should have stayed in my field. Now no one will hire me because I've been away from the industry too long. Lord, I repent that I wasted my abilities, you gave me.

Lord, I know that you've forgiven me. I don't deserve what I have. I deserve to be homeless. I ask for your mercy and that you would help me. You've said that you will supply all of my needs. I can't afford this increase. I could be on the road to homelessness, but I know you can intervene and save me. You have helped reduce my expenses the past twelve years. I know you can help me again. I believe that is part of your plan for my life.

Lord Jesus, I love you, in Jesus name, Amen.

P.S. This is a fictional account of a situation that could happen this fall.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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This article has been read 1012 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
06/05/14
This was masterful in content and delivery.

WEll done.

God bless~
Larry Whittington
06/06/14
Our minds play bad tricks on us at times. I pray that I could have the heart of David when he prayed that the words of his mouth and the meditation of his heart be acceptable to God.

When I don't let the Holy Spirit control what I think and what I say, I get myself in a lot of trouble.

I feel that we should not think up the worst for us but think that God will have his way and that I must be ready to accept his will for me.

You had a good way of expressing your thoughts in your prayers. I liked how you expressed the way our choices may not have been God's way for us in the past.

It will get the reader to check on himself.

Good Job.
Phyllis Inniss 
06/08/14
Great writing. I thought this was an actual situation and I was hoping it would be resolved. You sounded so authentic, a quality of truly good writing. You displayed the need for prayer, your belief in prayer and remorse that leads to repentance in a prayerful way.
Jenny Fulton 
06/09/14
I loved how you told a story through a prayer!
Sheldon Bass 
06/12/14
Hello Ken, Sorry I missed this one before the results came in. I like the idea of telling the story through a prayer. I think you could have left out the opening explanation and just went right into the prayer.

I noticed a few punctuation mistakes and maybe a word left out in two places. Other than that, you have a good sense for what would make a good entry.

I think that like the rest of us, you could benefit from having someone go over your entries with you before submitting them, to help spot grammar and punctuation mistakes. And give you some feedback. That helped me tremendously when I was in this level.

Keep up the great effort. God has big plans for you. Blessings!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/13/14
I am impressed with the main point of your story. There are many people who don't understand that having an intimate relationship with Jesus makes it easy to pray like this. If it's important to you, then it's important to God too. I think a story consisting mainly of prayer is a creative way to write an article. I wish it had been balanced a bit more with the MC praising and thanking God, along with telling him his worries. I do think having the prayer be most of your article is a great reminder to us all that when things feel hopeless and scary, praying isn't the least we can do, but the most.

Some parts didn't seem to fit just right. For example, usually someone living in such a low rent apartment probably wouldn't have money for a Mercedes or $50,000 to risk on the stock market. I get you were trying to show ways the MC could have saved so he wouldn't be quite as worried and that's an important part of your message.

It is vital to allow your piece to rest for a day or so, then go over it with fresh eyes. You could look especially at every word for missing words or punctuation as well as checking for those words that trip us all up once in awhile like they're, their, and there.

You did touch my heart with your earnest plea to God. I know you have had times in the past where things look quite dismal, yet God pulls through for you, maybe not in the way you were expecting, but still there. I can feel that faith in this piece. Your love and respect for God is palpable and a reminder to all who worries that God loves us and will be by our side both when we are thriving on the island or struggling after being voted off. Also know I'll be praying that God will grant you the strength to handle whatever new landlord throws at you and I'm thankful he brought you to FW where you can share that wonderful faith with others. Keep up the good work.