The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a powerful piece. You really touched my heart with your words. You also did an excellent job of describing the city and its activity.

Before you hit submit, make sure you hit preview so you can see your story as it will appear. That way you would see the spots where a new paragraph hadn't been double-spaced. I also noted some tiny errors like night instead of nights that a challenge buddy or critique group could help you spot. If you need help finding one, feel free to PM me.

I loved the verse you quoted it. Because of your story I saw it in a new light. Normally I think of war as countries raging against each other but you showed me the war that rages in my own mind. Juxtaposing the chaos of the city with the tranquility of Central Park was a touch of genius and it really did make me aware of the chaos in one part of my life and the peace in another. You incorporated the topic with ease.
I have always wanted to see Central Park... haven't got the chance as of yet... but one day I hope. Thanks for sharing your experiences. It was a nice read.

God bless!
I like your contrast of the busy city to the serene park. Your descriptions are full of imagery that brings the city to life. But as I read, it felt a little like a run-on sentence, without breaks or transitions between thoughts. That may have contributed to the image of busyness, but I think you could have smoothed it out a little to make it flow better.