Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Where Angels Fear to Tread (not about the book) (09/08/11)
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TITLE: The Ill-Fate of Poor Julian | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jenna Dawn
09/15/11 -
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“What am I going to do with this man, Bernard? He’s completely insane. If I were killable, Sam would surely be the death of me. Instead, he just sees to it that I’m wounded and maimed on a regular basis.”
Bernard yawned and rested his face in his hand. He had been perched above Sam and Lucy’s chimney for half-an-hour listening to Julian’s tirade.
“Why do you always get the easy ones?” Julian’s arms flailed. “Lucy is like the quintessential Christian. She prays. She devours her Bible. She seeks wise counsel. For crying out loud, she even fasts. All you have to do is look at a demon who dares mess with her and it shrieks away in horror.”
Reaching the end of the ridge for the hundredth time, Julian swirled around to head back toward Bernard. However, in his angst he lost his balance, toppled onto his side and began sliding wildly down the slope of the roof. Bernard watched, unmoved, as his friend plunged off the side completely out of view.
Then just as quickly as Julian had vanished, he reappeared, wings spread to their full span of twelve feet. Soaring up and over Bernard he yelled at the top of his lungs. “Case in point! There’s not even a demon in sight to protect Sam from and I’m still grappling for my own safety.”
Julian floated down, settled on the roof and folded his wings.
Bernard sighed. “Have you tried appearing to him? Maybe put the fear of God in him?”
“Yeah, yeah, I tried that. But Sam is so spiritually undiscerning he can’t possibly see me or hear me. If only he would take a queue from his wife, Lucy.”
“She does pray for him.” Bernard shrugged. “Diligently.”
“Well can you get her to pray for me? Sam’s got it in his head to go to Graves Bar tomorrow and witness to Hell’s Angels. Hell’s Angels! They may only be humans on motorcycles all covered in leather and tattoos, but there are plenty of authentic angels from actual hell lurking among those unsavory characters. Those demons won’t tolerate anyone tossing around the name of Jesus in a non-profane manner.
Suddenly, Julian lit up. “I got it! I’ll stay here tomorrow and watch over little-miss perfect and get a well deserved nap, while you go watch Sam get himself killed.”
“Very funny. You know we can’t do that. You’re Sam’s guardian angel and I’m Lucy’s. It’s not my fault your human doesn’t bother to put on his spiritual armor before running like a fool into enemy territory.”
Bernard stood and patted Julian on the back. “I have a little something for you, though.”
“What?”
Bernard held out a first aid kit.
“I don’t really need it, so … “
“Okay, seriously?”
Harley Davidsons lined the parking lot from one end to the other.
A flash of sunlight blinded Julian as he was hurled into a large oak tree, landing belly first over a branch. Before he could think twice, two demons lunged into him sending him plummeting to the ground with a thud.
Weak and wounded, Julian opened his eyes to the formidable sight of demons on every side, all oozing their sulfurous vapors and spewing curses. The last he’d seen, Sam was in much the same predicament surrounded by a dozen ill-tempered Hell’s Angels.
Lying powerless on the pavement, Julian closed his eyes and braced himself for the inevitable beating.
But none came.
Instead he was suddenly being hoisted into the air and placed in the refuge of the oak tree.
Bernard winked at him. “Lucy’s here.”
Bernard swooped back toward the demons and engaged in battle with the full strength afforded him through the power of Lucy’s spiritual integrity.
Meanwhile, all five-foot-two inches of Lucy thrust into the gang of metal studded bikers and stood protectively over Sam. Julian looked on in awe. He couldn’t hear what Lucy was saying, but she was literally a radiant light permeating the darkness. Whatever her words, those rugged men were like putty in her hands. They picked up Sam, dusted him off and relinquished him to his wife.
As the gang of thugs dispersed Julian caught sight of the leader, a burly bearded man, picking up the Bible that had been tossed aside in the skirmish. Glancing around to ensure there were no witnesses, he quickly stuffed the Bible inside his pocket and walked into the bar.
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Excellent writing. You made your points well and it is a perfect story for this topic.
I scratched my head a bit at the Seriously comment after the offer of the first aid kit- Ithink your humor was over my head but that's more of a personal taste. I also wondered why Sam would witness to Hell's Angels if he wasn't very spiritual.
The ending was absolutely perfect! I so enjoyed the scene you painted and could vividly picture it all in my head. Many writers struggle with a good ending especially with the word count. But your handled it like a pro. Nice job, keep those stories coming!
In response to Shan's comment about why Sam would witness to Hell's Angels when he isn't very spiritual. One can have zeal for Jesus without bothering to "train", put on their armor, pray, seek God's wisdom, etc. This is Sam, and this is why he repeatedly gets his guardian angel into trouble.
Just thought I'd clarify.
Thanks again for the positive comments and congrats. :)
I also had difficulty understanding how Sam would venture into such dangerous waters after being described as so seriously shallow but the ending was great.
I wish there'd been room to elaborate more on the spiritual battle but, that's not a complaint against you.
Excellent work on this one.