Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Hear (07/08/10)
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TITLE: The whisper within | Previous Challenge Entry
By Lori Godfrey
07/10/10 -
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As I look out my window one winters morn I see a red bird sitting.
Perched on the barb wire fence as if to ask, Why am I alone? Are you really alone red bird, I ask?
Has the other creatures of the earth heard the howling of the winds? Surely there are others to acc-company you? To hear the whisper within is to answer the call.
God has given his creation the gift of hearing and there are times we fail to hear his voice. Whether by words or by his still small voice we tend to ignore the creator of the universe. His creation, be it great or small will one day hear his words.
Like the red bird who feels the cold wind blow and hears the howling sound, we to must feel at times, alone. Do we hear the cry of a hungry child, and turn the other way? Have we heard the cries of an abandoned animal and wish we could come to its plight? The world is full of a thousand sounds.
And most are never heard. The hustle and bustle of the big city with people walking to and fro. The wind whistling through the trees in a emerald forest. Crackling leaves as you walk down an abandoned trail. A sound of distance thunder and finally the gentle raindrops as they fall on your face once more.
These are the sounds created by the One who in the Garden of Eden made it all. To hear is to listen, to truly listen is to obey. Many people have to live without the precious gift of hearing. Those of us who are blessed with such a gift at times I fear take it for granted. The whisper within is God’s voice to mankind.
Let us walk on this path we call life having a ear to hear. For after all is said and done when you think about the legacy you want to leave behind. When the day arrives you breath your last you’ll want those to know you heard their cries and listened with an ear of compassion.
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You have a few editing errors, but they can be fixed. For instance:You don't need the s on winter or if you do want to keep it because you think it sounds better you need to add an apostrophe- winter's morn.
I loved the line near the end having an ear to hear. You put so much feeling in this verse. It really moved me.
I think more people might read it, if you put the lines into typical poem lines. It is a beautiful piece and it sounds poetic.
I recommend you continue to work on grammar, spelling and sentence structure. There are two very good classes on FW, one by Jan and one by Ann.
Good take on the subject.
Mona