Never Left | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Never Left | Previous Challenge Entry
By Martin Heidorn
08/03/09
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The rent is late. Bill collectors call. Life is getting too difficult to live. When you were younger, you never had these stressors. Or if you did, chances were you didn't know it because your parents did all they could to protect you from it. But now your situation is dire. You've asked your friends one too many times and you can't ask for anything more. It's your responsibility and nobody elses.

On the floor next to your bed is a book. It's green, hard-backed and faced down on purpose. It doesn't matter what side is up, it feels like it's staring at you, boring holes into you. Picking it up, it feels heavy because you know it could convict you. You put it in your lap and turn it over. The first word is Life. The truth is: that word has eluded you. Finding strength when life has you down has robbed you of it.

The second word that stares you in the face is 'application.' Before you even have a chance to censor yourself, you start to chuckle. How can you apply a book that is thousands of years old and apply it to you when the God you would defend with your life, seems so far away. Your non Christian friends don't see this in you. You won't let them. After all, if you doubt how can you believe?

The last of the words on the cover is Bible. It's a book that has brought millions of people comfort and again you stare at it. Why did the people in Bible times get a physical Jesus and you get words in a book? So you crack the book open and let it fall open, hoping the words you read will permeate your soul.

Most people that believe in God have doubts. It's hard to believe in an all knowing, all encompassing, yet totally invisible God. Most people think(or at least have expectations) that Christians are perfect. If you believe that, I have some swampland to sell you. But that's the message of the Gospel. You don't have to be.

Today I sent out a message on Facebook asking people what their favorite Bible verses were. Each verse seemed to be comforting. I find comfort in knowing God rejoices over me with singing(Zephaniah 3:17). Yesterday, a friend reminded me that God holds me close to his heart(Is. 40:11).

I don't think that any of us will understand why God chooses some days to stay near us and chooses other days to be silent; Why some days we white knuckle his promises and other days we live in them without reservation. One theory is that God continually tries us to get us to the point where we can't help but rely on him. I have always found that to be troubling. Why would a loving God beat us down to get us to rely on him. That seems selfish. Yet, when things are going bad, I tend to talk to God more.

I guess it's all in how much we choose to believe that He will not leave us or forsake us....

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