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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)
I claimed to be a Christian
To belong to the Lord Jesus Christ
My faith I'd put in him
But I'd done nothing with my life
I’d swear, blaspheme
And I would even curse
A Christian life seen just as another character audition
My part so eloquently written and so elegantly rehearsed
To anyone who would listen
I bragged because I went to church on every single Sunday
My heart was placed upon a pedestal
As a committed Christian only for public display
I would pray in front of others
By my bed at night
When the truth was revealed
My heart and mind were not right
Nothing ever seemed to be changed
My life was still so sinful
I claimed to be so pure and seemingly a saint
My heart and mind so deranged
Believing I was an example as the perfect Savior untaint
A life never claimed and never changed
When my life was over and done
To my grave I went and stood before a Holy God
Only to be told,” Depart because you never knew my Son."
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This article has been read 841 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
02/23/08
Sadly, this is the story of many people...

Think about brushing up your meter; you need to have a pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables in this type of poetry. This seems to fit better with next weeks' topic.

You captured a tragic truth in this poem.
Marilyn Schnepp 
02/23/08
Both interesting and unique in it's content and format. Some heartfelt truths revealed, that's true - but in my humble opinion...did not snag the topic. Your piece, however, did point out some of my own failings in my Christian life...and gave me thought for reflection. Thanks.
Joanne Sher 
02/23/08
An excellent message.

I had a little trouble finding the flow of this poem - a little work on the rhythm of this might help some.

Thanks for writing this - it definitely gave me much to ponder.
c clemons
02/25/08
Poetry is not easy, I am still learning myself. The flow definitely needs work. I did like the last two lines. We are all here to learn to be better writers, so if you need help just ask. God bless and keep writing. :)
Tim Pickl
02/26/08
Christianity is not a mask we wear, but a cross--a burden we willingly bear. Thank you for your honesty!