The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Walk (07/20/06)
One step, followed by another, and yet another.
I had never felt so at peace and yet so terrified in all my life.
The journey, up to this point had been focused on preaching and teaching.
We followed as those interested, curious, but still doubtful of this man.
His thoughts were not like ours.
His actions were at times mysterious and seemed without reason.
Our minds couldn’t understand his ways, not completely.
That day had been especially tiring and gruesome.
As we went from town to town, they followed us.
People, hungry for his teaching, his words.
We settled for a time and the crowds stayed near.
This man, dare I call him that, had compassion on the crowd.
He took the meager morsels fit only for one and multiplied them.
The abundance remaining could have fed many more.
That night we departed in our vessel.
Darkness covered the sky. All was calm.
Then this man, not merely a man, journeyed out onto the sea.
I saw him take one step then another.
The others, they were afraid, thinking all sorts of foolish things.
But I although confused was more intrigued than anything.
As I stretched out on the faith that I had.
I focused my eyes in his.
One step became two, and another and there I stood.
Not on land but on water with this man, not merely a man.
My mind played tricks on me as the wind blew.
I found myself falling, sinking, almost out of his grasp.
He grabbed just in time to rescue me from myself.
When this man, not merely a man sensed my hesitation,
He chastised me for my lack of faith.
Once doubtful, I was a believer, staying true to the end.
And then I knew, I just knew, I had taken a walk to remember.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 959 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
07/28/06
A nice retelling - and your title is JUST right. Traditional paragraph structure would help this, I think, and maybe a bit more detail. Great job weaving the topic throughout!
Sandra Petersen
07/29/06
This view of Jesus and Peter's walk on the water is nicely worded.

I especially like this line:
"I found myself falling, sinking, almost out of his grasp.
He grabbed just in time to rescue me from myself."
because it describes our own initial coming to the Lord.

I am not a poet, so I forego any comment on poetic style.

Thanks for writing this!
Kim Thomas
08/03/06
I like this piece...I noticed one thing you might consider changing...Line 8: "That day...especially tiring and gruesome" -- I think you may mean "grueling" -- which is basically a synonym for tiring...gruesome, for me, is a word that means bloody...

Over all, I like it. I agree that you may consider using paragraphs rather than stanzas.

Keep up the good work!!