The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/03/06
Very strong ending!
A wonderful testimony to a father's legacy!

To make this really come alive, you'll want to work on less straight explaining and more 'showing,' or painting a picture for the reader.

One way to do this would be to create your opening scene at graduation, then develop the progression of the ceremony, and the thoughts she has about her father's part in her success.

Your ending was strong, and will feel even stronger to readers after you've built up to it, right from the first paragraph!

Have fun with it! Blessings, Sherry~
Thanks for your story. A thankful heart is the greatest way of repaying a "priceless gift". Keep writing. Stef.