The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 477 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/26/18
Lovely and well written.

Blessings~
I could see it all! Wonderful descriptions. . . Sure made me think of Nevil Shute's A Town Like Alice.
Very good description...I felt as if I were there.
I love your candor: You tell it the way it is. Good use of alliteration, too, and fantastic optimism! Loved your change of attitude regarding God's big, bold, lusciously blue sky, for I am enamored with it also. Moreover, you have that innate writer's knack at good description. Reads, for the most part, as good as anything else out there. Keep up the good work, my friend. You are a writer through and through!
I loved your descriptions it was like I was really in Australia. Some of the phrases you used I did not understand. Probably because we come from different cultures. Make sure all readers have some understanding of your culture or explain a little what certain phrases mean. It was fun to read your article.
I loved your descriptions it was like I was really in Australia. Some of the phrases you used I did not understand. Probably because we come from different cultures. Make sure all readers have some understanding of your culture or explain a little what certain phrases mean. It was fun to read your article.
I liked the descriptions in you time travel log. I don't know how much time really passed but I don't think it really matters.

I enjoyed traveling with you enjoying the sights, sounds and smells.
05/03/18
I found your descriptions intriguing. I also liked how you showed your resistance to the strange and different places but that you learned to appreciate them.
You did a fine job. You had some great descriptions. I'd have liked the conflict shown right away to pull the reader in faster. It also would be great if you added more dialog, body language, and maybe some of the MC's thoughts. You have a great message though and your characters were memorable. Congratulations on ranking 1st in your level and 20 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.