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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: SNOOZE (07/20/17)
Wake Up Call

“Oh no, not yet.” Sandy groaned as she picked up her phone on the nightstand by the bed to shut off the noise. “Just a little longer, please. I need more sleep.” This seemed to be her morning habit these days. “How had she slipped into it,” she wondered, as she drifted back to sleep.



Later after she drug herself out of bed, showered, dressed and grabbed a banana and piece of toast for breakfast she pulled into work just a few minutes late. “Oh well,” she thought. It’s only a job, and I deserve to have a life, don’t I?”



As she began working with her physical therapy patients, she knew she should give Mr. Dodds a longer massage for his aching back, but her hands were cramping so she simply told him, “That’s it for today, Mr. Dodds. I’ll see you back in three days, ok?” He mumbled something as he painfully rose from her PT couch. She didn’t understand what he said but didn’t really care enough to ask him to repeat it.



At lunch, she and two co-workers went to the hospital cafeteria to sit and chat while they ate whatever the special was. The special had way more calories than she should consume for one meal. Her buddies declined and went for salads, but the beef gravy, noodles and mashed potatoes looked too good to pass up, so she had it anyway. Her guilt trip would hit her when she got back to work and was so full she was miserable and sleepy.



By Sunday morning, she was tempted to not even set an alarm and just sleep all morning. Her conscious wouldn’t let her do that though. She got up, making it to church late, as usual, and sat in the back row. She wasn’t feeling very spiritual or satisfied to be where she was, either in church or in her life.



“What was that the Pastor just said?” Did he use her name, or did it just seem that way?



He had said, "We each need to give God our best because He gave us His best when He sent Jesus to be our savior and friend. In fact, God always gives us His best in everything, always.”



Now Sandy was wide awake. Was this what was missing in her life? She knew in her heart of hearts that she wasn’t giving her best to anything in her life. Not work, not eating right, not exercising, not her prayer life or her Bible time. In fact, she sensed that she was sitting on the side lines of life, just letting the fullness that God had for her slip away. She was not really, fully living. She had been living her life as though she were half asleep all the time.



Right then and there, she bowed her head and prayed for forgiveness that she had been doing a very poor job of living the life God had given her and asked for His help to wake up and live right in every part of her life. As she walked out of church, the birds were singing more sweetly, the sky was a bluer blue. Climbing into her car, she said out loud to herself, “I am going to be a new person, a better person, starting right now, with God’s help, of course.”
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This article has been read 419 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Eneida Moscon
07/29/17
Encouraging words! Thanks for your writing!

Blessings:)
Judy Sauer 
08/01/17
​You have a good message in your story. I like that it ends with the main character (MC for short) making positive changes in her life.

Putting your story title in the text box counts against the number of words. It took me the longest time to change this with myself. This is an easy fix for you.

Punctuation was missing from your story, in places.
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You could tighten up your words, and avoid long sentences. For example, you wrote:
“Oh no, not yet.” Sandy groaned as she picked up her phone on the nightstand by the bed to shut off the noise.

Another way to reword this might be:
"Oh not, not yet!" Sandy groaned as the alarm blared from her phone. Her arm lifted toward the noise to shut it off.
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You could tighten up sentences and get the same point across. You wrote: "they ate whatever the special was." This could be reworded as "they ate the daily special." Your "beef gravy, noodles, and mashed potatoes," makes me hungry.
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Keep writing.
Larry Whittington
08/02/17
I like the title of your piece.

This is an example of growing in Christ. The Holy Spirit uses the message in God's word to convict people of sin. Repentance is the turning with the desire of doing the right things again.

We each may need this from time to time so we continue to Grow to be like Jesus.

Well done.