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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: RELAX (06/08/17)
There is always something going on in my household. The fridge shelves need to be cleaned, and the floors need to be dust mopped. Another thing is that the carpets need to be vacuumed. I also have to make sure that my bills are paid such as rent, home entertainment, and cell phones.



Sometimes when I try to get something from my fridge, one of the items from one of the shelves, and then I get impulsive by screaming. I feel that the devil is after me when that incident happens.



I also have to make sure that I take my medication every day. I am on anti-depressants. Sometimes I miss a day or two from taking those pills. I also have to remember to an aspirin for my superficial blood clot.





I have to make sure that my daughter eats breakfast before I drive her to school. I also have to make sure that she has enough for lunch. As soon as I get back home, I empty the garbage if needed, and then I go to work and come home in the evening.



Before I go to bed, I find some time to relax by playing games on my tablet and reading a book. I also play a song on my keyboard. I like to download the bible on my tablet, and then I read a verse or two. It is healthy for me to take some time for myself.
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This article has been read 621 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
06/15/17
Resting in Him is fuel and food for the soul. You have a busy schedule, may God continue to guide you. Thanks for sharing.
You nailed the topic!
Blessings~
Leola Ogle
06/15/17
This made me chuckle because I understand. God bless.
Elaine Hemingway
06/15/17
What is the saying about a woman's work never being done? Good that you schedule relaxation into your busy day. Keep writing! Blessings.
Chris Goglin
06/15/17
It sounds like you are in control of your busy day! Good for you! Try re-reading the second paragraph, and try to describe what happened. Were the shelves too high to reach, or did something spill, making you want to scream? Sometimes, having someone else read it for you, helps you to notice things you want to change. Nice job!
Larry Whittington
06/17/17
You have written a nice :"picture 0f a day at my house". I added two words that seemed to have been left out. The first one is in the sentence about your refrigerator. "one items ( falls)
In another sentence about the aspirins: to (take).
Our relaxation should add vigor and strength to our day as we serve the lord in what we do.

Keep writing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/19/17
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/19/17
This is a nice essay about what goes on in your house. The world is certainly a busy place today.

One thing I'd encourage you to do is expand on it even more. Have your pacing match the frenzied nature of your day. Don't be afraid to add details or humor. For example: As soon as my alarm goes off each morning, my heart rate picks up and tries to match my pace. Shower, get dressed, feed the dog, but don't forget the child who is wailing, "I'm hungry!" Most important is not to mix up the dog's breakfast with my daughter's. There are days like that. I've even found the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the fridge before.

I know I took a lot of creativity in that rewording, but I wanted to show one way to make something that might be a bit dry more entertaining to the average reader.

You have a great foundation here. Keep writing, and even more importantly keep reading. I'd love to challenge you to read and comment on every entry in your level and level 4 too. It's one of the best ways to learn more about your own writing. Your last paragraph is an important message. It is vital to relax or our kids might be eating dog food and wonder why the milk is in the cereal cupboard.
Judy Sauer 
06/20/17
It is good that you recognize the improtance of taking care of yourself.

There are a lot of "I" statments. Rewording these sentences will allow your stories to flow smoother. Here is one example.

You wrote:
I have to make sure that my daughter eats breakfast before I drive her to school. I also have to make sure that she has enough for lunch.

These could be reworded as:
My daughter needs to eat a hearty breakfast since it is the most important meal of the day. To ensure she arrives at school on time causes me to be organized and aware of what matters most. Her lunch needs to be fulfilling to make sure she does not fight hunger before dinner is prepared.

You have good potential. Keep writing, and never give up on yourself. God bless.