The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: RELAX (06/08/17)
Nicole paced the room in her bare feet and tried to breathe. Mom and Lizette, her maid of honor, stood helpless to calm her nerves. No one could find Dad and the clock on the wall was speeding toward the hour. Her hour.



“Relax dear,” Mom patted her arm.



“Relax?” She couldn’t relax. “The wedding starts in ten minutes, and Dad isn’t here yet. I’m not doing this without him.”



“Don’t worry. I’m sure he will be here any minute.”



Dad was the most dependable man in the world, so every worst case scenario filled Nicole’s mind. Maybe he had a heart attack, or got in an accident. She shook her head and tried to focus on the fact that she would soon be Mrs. Joshua Francis Williams flying off to Hawaii for a week long honeymoon.



A knock at the door interrupted her vision of sandy beaches and a hand summoned to her mother. Nicki and Lizette glanced at each other, hoping for good news. As the seconds ticked away, Nicole began pacing again thinking maybe the dog got out. Maybe someone needed a ride.



When Mom came back into the room, she could tell it wasn’t good news. “What is it? Was there an accident?”



“No, no, nothing like that,” Mom looked from Nicole to Lizette struggling for words. “Joshua isn’t here yet.”



“What do you mean he’s not here? I thought he came with Scott.” Scott was his best friend and the best man.



“Scott said after they got dressed Joshua said he need to take care of something. So they drove in separate cars.” Nicole tried to imagine what was so important that he would be late to his own wedding, and Mom added. “Pastor Bryan wants a word with you.”



First Dad, now Joshua. Mom signaled for Lizette to follow her, and Pastor Bryan walked in looking anywhere but at her. Why wasn’t he out looking for them, she wanted to know.



“Nicole, I think Joshua might not show, and I think I’m to blame.” He looked hard at the floor with his hands shoved deep in his pockets.



“Why? Everything seemed okay yesterday.”



Pastor Bryan hesitated. “Well, he’s been a little evasive about his salvation, and I told him just the other day not to go into this marriage without being certain.”



Nicole sat down stunned, totally disregarding the fact that she would wrinkle her wedding gown. “I had a similar conversation with him two weeks ago. He said not to worry his salvation was fine.”



“Fine?” Pastor Bryan raised an eyebrow.



“Yea, fine.” But Nicole knew that it wasn’t. “I didn’t want to push it and ruin everything. We’ve waited two long years.” She folded her hands in her lap. “Do you really think he’s not going to show?” She felt sick.



“I really don’t know,” Pastor Bryan sat down beside her. “Scott said he seemed a little quiet this morning, but chalked it up to nerves.”



Nicole stared her shoes with impossibly high heels sitting next to the door and wondered if this was truly happening. Was this God’s way of saving her from being unequally yoked?



“They’re here!” Lizette called pounding on the door. “They’re here!”



Pastor Bryan poked his head out the door and confirmed it. “They’re here indeed.” And let her Dad in.



Nicole rushed to hug him. “Daddy, is everything okay?”



Dad gave a soft chuckle and took her hands in his. “Your groom came by the house in all his finery, his hair slicked back, and asked if we could talk.” He eyes shone with love as he continued. “So we talked. And we lost track of the time.”



“Talked about what?” she asked. All they ever talked about was sports.



“He wanted to know what I thought true salvation was. So I gave it to him, the whole spiel. And you know what he said?” Dad paused and swallowed hard. “’Then I want that kind of salvation.’”



Nicole was speechless and blinked back the tears that would ruin her makeup.



“Sorry we cut it so close, baby.” He said patting her hand and beaming with pride.



“No, I think you cut it just right.”



Pastor Bryan cleared his throat. “Are we ready?”



They both nodded and Nicole brushed out any creases she might have caused, slipped her shoes on and declared. “I’m ready.”



Dad held his arm out for her to take. “Relax.”



Nicole took a deep breath. “I will now.”
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 725 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
06/15/17
Awww. This touched my heart, made me think of my wedding day so many years ago!

Blessings~
Leola Ogle
06/15/17
A delightful story with a happy ending. God bless.
Elaine Hemingway
06/15/17
Beautifully written and well presented. Waiting to see more! Blessings
Chris Goglin
06/15/17
This was a great "good feeling" piece! Any time someone accepts the Lord, is an occasion for celebration! Only a few slip I'm sure you have caught: (Needed) instead of (need). (His) instead of (he).
Excellent job! God Bless!
Larry Whittington
06/17/17
A good story with a good point. We all must work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. If we go along with what others say that does not contain what the Bible teaches, we are being deceived.
Adele Butler
06/17/17
Wonderful story. I enjoyed reading it and was thrilled that it had a happy ending. Yes, we should never neglect so great a salvation.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/19/17
I enjoyed this. You grabbed my attention right from the beginning and held it to the end. Some of the dialog didn't feel natural. I'd urge you to listen to how different people, speak. If you're nervous, you might stutter it mix words up or babble incessantly. Add little details like that to make each character unique. Overall, though I think you did a great job. I liked your fresh take on the topic. It was almost the opposite. She desperately needed to let go and let God, and I think you did a great job of showing that.
Judy Sauer 
06/21/17
You are a good writer, and this is a very engaging story. You drew me into the scene with creative storytelling. Nice job.

lt not take long for you to move into the next level with writing this well. You have a lot of potential and talent. Keep writing.