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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Escape (01/02/06)
Each inhale brings a stabbing dagger of cold air into my lungs. Every exhale releases a small cloud of steam. Surely if she turns my way, she will see me. I watch as she sits on her bed, black tears stream down her face. She looks lost, scared and alone. When she lies back, her fingers release that familiar bottle, and her escape falls to the ground. Clear liquid spills onto the floor, a putrid lake forms in my direction.

My emotions retreat deep within, I crawl inside myself and hide. Thoughts whiz around in my head as I cry out for peace inside this small closet. I wrap daddy’s coat around my shoulders, finding comfort in its warmth. When will he come home to save me?

The kind words from Mrs. Jenson, my Sunday school teacher enter my head through the whirlwind of fear. “And in that moment, the God of David, your safe tower and refuge will be there to comfort you.”

And it happens. I feel arms wrap around me, and I no longer feel afraid. Sixteen years of pain begin to escape in sobs, as I know she’s too far-gone to hear me.

“Oh, Lord, I cry out from deep within my hiding place, and you have found me hidden behind the walls that shelter my heart and soul. Be with me now.”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Linda Watson Owen
01/12/06
You've very effectively put your reader 'right there'. You had my attention beginning to end. Good job!
Marilyn Schnepp 
01/12/06
Very, very deep thinking and writing: and due to my rather simplistic mind...I had to read, and re-read to let it sink in. Beautifully done, and sadly - very true to life.