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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: START (02/25/16)
Blind Season


Layla was trembling. She had just woken up, and found out she was blind. She couldn't see, and panicking she called out for help. She heard a voice all of sudden, and she couldn't believe it was him. Sammy. He was supposed to be finished off by the gang. She hated Sammy because of what her people in her gang said he was. A threat that was out to bring down the neighborhood. She had a confrontation with him earlier that day, and she smacked him across the face. How dare he tell her about Jesus? However, in this dream of hers he was helpless, and what she was about to find out he was blind too.



The dream continues, and Sammy on his knees reaches Layla, and holds her. She is angry, and pulls away. However, Sammy pursues them, and reminds Layla it's dark outside. She's upset, and so holds Sammy's hand as he offers her the couch. She wonders what happened. It was festive as Sammy was captured; the simple minded moron gave her the secret to his strength, and all she had to do was cut his hair, and the money promised by the gang was hers. She needed it for her mother as she needed it to go into assisted living.



Remembering the day Layla is cheering the gang on to gouge out Sammy's eyes. The joy and ecstasy she felt, and the money she could dump her mom, and be done with her, and her toxic bitterness towards her. The fool kept saying he loved her. Hearing that she begins to cry. Sammy hears, and tries to comfort her. Kisses her cheek she says that she hurt him, and doesn't deserve his love, or anyone else's. However, she dreams more and more about her true feelings, and is discovering she is in love with Sammy because no boy, or for that matter no one loved her for who she was before.



Layla went further and further into the dream. The next morning Sammy knocks on her door to offer her breakfast, and kisses her cheek again. She tells Sammy that she accepts his love, and returns a kiss to him. After breakfast they feel their way around the house. Layla's friend calls, and tells her that the gang poisoned the wine she drank with radiator sealant, and anti freeze, but worse they stole the money back from her. She cries, and allows Sammy to hold her. After she's cried out Sammy puts music on, and pulls Layla up, and they dance until they fall down laughing. Layla tells Sammy she wants to really kiss, and their lips meet.



The dream gets better and better as Layla and Sammy are inseparable, and Layla is led to Christ by him. Layla through the church she and Sammy attend, and her friend's family put money together for Layla to have surgery to restore her sight. It's successful, and she sees Sammy truly had his eyes gouged out. She vows to drive him everywhere when they have a date, and prays that he will have a donor with eyes that will match his. The summer blooms, and the Fourth of July picnic comes with Layla sharing strawberries with white chocolate sauce, and kissing as they finish. The gang is arrested as Layla is wired confessing that they gouged out Sammy's eyes.



She wished the dream could go on and on. Sammy receives new eyes, and sees Layla. She tells Sammy that somehow the money for the assisted living was paid in full. What's more her mother came to Christ. Sammy confesses that his mother paid the money because she saw Layla as her daughter in law when Sammy puts the ring on Layla's finger. She's beaming wide, and says "Yes." Suddenly the alarm goes off, and Layla has to get ready for school. She gets on the bus, and she knows three stops later will be Sammy's.



Sammy boards the bus, and is immediately tripped by one of the boys. Everyone is laughing at him. Layla comes forward, but is tripped by others too. They help each other up. She apologizes for yesterday, and asks about receiving Jesus. He tells her about how He's changed his life as he killed his girlfriend by driving drunk, and messed up his eyes they had to be removed. he tells Layla he's in love with her. she kisses him, and he invites her to the prom. She thinks of strawberries.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
03/04/16
Wow! Good job with the topic in your approach and delivery.

Blessings~
Bonnie Bowden 
03/05/16
I thought you had a strong ending, but was confused in parts of the story because you went from present tense to past tense and back again.

I really think you have a strong storytelling ability, but just need to work on crafting the story better. (Several of the judges have told me the same thing, so it's something most writers work on).
Toni Babcock 
03/06/16
Layla and Sammy seem a lot like Samson and Delilah (biblical lovers, you know the story) - very clever!
David Guion
03/08/16
An interesting play on Samson and Delilah, but confusing in spots. Dreams are always confusing, of course, but when she wakes up and gets on with the day, the story doesn't get clearer. The detail of Sammy's traffic accident comes out of nowhere.