The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
11/19/15
Your memories were brought to life in this touching story. I felt like I was there as you described the scene. Nice work!
11/20/15
What a gripping glimpse into your childhood. My heart grieves with you at the way relationships within family have broken down.

You have real talent.

A couple of hints. Like all of us, it's easy to get wordy. In the first paragraph. The sentence on race relations could begin with "Race relations had reached..." In the second paragraph - about Christmas at your house, it could be put -... and Christmas at our house was special.

I trust you will continue to enter the Challenge and grow in your writing.

God bless
Forgiveness goes a long way towards ending any stirring.
11/23/15
What a sad ending to a lovely story. You have made a good start. Keep writing.
11/23/15
Great slice of life piece. Loved this sentence: You could smell the hatred on their breath like some cheap bottle of alcohol.

A little repetition, for instance, the first two sentence say basically the same thing, so you can tighten that up a bit.

Even though "stir" is the theme, try not to use the word so often.

Great job!