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Topic: STIR (11/12/15)
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TITLE: A Mother's Point of View | Previous Challenge Entry
By Sanna Scales
11/16/15 -
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From the time my daughter was a little girl she loved to dance. Her older brother was in Ukrainian dance and she wanted to do it too! At 3 years of age she began to dance. Her tiny little body was just learning to coordinate itself, but she was determined she was going to do it!
She was a natural! She learned to count, as the steps for dance went to 8 counts. She learned to perform in front of many people and got over the fear of being on stage. As she got older, the steps became harder and she was challenged but her love of dance kept her going.
Tonight, I watched my daughter perform… Now, after 11 years of Ukrainian dance. Sitting in the crowd I wait for the music to start. Even though I have been here many times, I am bursting at the seams! waiting for my daughter and her group to take the stage!
The music starts! Loud, fast and boisterous! The ethnic beat gets your heart pumping; I hold my breath as the dancers burst on to stage. Beautiful and full of energy! Their traditional Poltava region costumes are striking. Colorful with immaculate detail.! The boys wear billowy red satin pants, black belts that wind around their waists, with hanging tassels. White shirts with red and black embroidered Ukrainian print on the chest and sleeves, and of course red boots
The girl’s attire has many layers of beauty. The slip and blouse are white flowy cotton material with red and black rose patterns that form along the edges and on the arms. Then the skirt, which is a heavier, colorful woven material that wraps around and opens slightly in the center at the front. Then the apron and vest finish off the costume. The vest is longer in length and they both are black and have a lovely arrangement of blue, white, red and yellow flowers embroidered into it, making it look exquisite! Adorning her braided hair is a head piece that has rows of flowers that reaches 3 inches high. From the back flows long multi colored ribbons that fly through the air as she dances across the stage in her red boots!
I feel all stirred up as I watch her dance! She has become a beautiful performer… Time has encouraged poise and precision in her ability. She tilts her head, as she rounds the front of the stage and her arms and legs are arranged to compliment her composure.
I can hardly sit in my seat! The room is buzzing with energy! The dancers are twirling, stepping, kicking and moving across the stage. All dancing in unison with one another. Again! I hold my breath! my daughter is about to be lifted into the air to do the fly! “Ah they did it” at this point I am hooting and cheering them on as she is AIR BORN! I feel like the proudest Mama in the crowd! I want to yell! “That’s my girl”, “Look at her”! The whole crowd is clapping and whistling! After moving around the stage for 7 minutes the dance comes to an end… They all take a lovely bow and run off the stage.
I rest back into my chair feeling wiped! All that energy has left me in awe once again…. My little girl, is now a grown into a beautiful young lady. I pause and Thank God for blessing me with her. Then I jump out of my seat and run as I have to help her get ready for the next dance!
Non-Fiction
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Well written.
You can tighten things a bit. We have to be concise, since we only get 750 words. Not necessary to have your title in the body of the story.
You could consolidate your thoughts, for example, here:
"From the time my daughter was a little girl she loved to dance. Her older brother was in Ukrainian dance and she wanted to do it too! At 3 years of age she began to dance. Her tiny little body was just learning to coordinate itself, but she was determined she was going to do it!"
You say the same thing, but could combine thoughts with "From the time my daughter was 3 she loved to dance."
Watch punctuation and frequency of exclamation points.
Great job!