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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Spring (as in the season) (11/28/05)
- to celebrate!



It was at the end of a long winter.
I felt the coldness of it’s stare.
At a distance it gazed at me
yet it did not even looked for me.

Then suddenly it stood out of a chill
Struggling to stand and be still.
As though it wanted to figure out
How was life is all about.

All of a sudden it moved
and took a step towards the wood.
Slowly it took another step
even it’s feet were all but stiff.

Every steps it took it struggled
But it’s life must not be haggled.
It really wanted to stop and quit
and return to the cave and be kept.

However the spring was just started
Food must be reaped and collected.
The winter forced them to hibernate
the Spring made them to celebrate.

Before it entered into the wood
It stopped and looked at me for good.
It even stood to all its might
and growled as if it said “I’m alright!”

Then the grizzly bear disappeared
into the wood - to celebrate!
The Spring where everyone was waiting
for this season of new growth and gathering.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Sandra Petersen
12/07/05
I was wondering what "it" was. Kept it a mystery to the end.
The rhythm and rhyme made this piece a little difficult to read. There are some good thoughts here: that even the animals coming out of hibernation have reason to celebrate. Good attempt!
Jan Ackerson
12/07/05
Cute! No one else wrote about a bear coming out of hibernation. Nice job.

"It's" with an apostrophe means "it is." "Its" without an apostrophe is possessive. You wanted the second one.

The title is idfferent, starting with punctuation , and not capitalized. Consider "To Celebrate" instead.

I like the fact that you kept "it" a mystery until the end.
Marilyn Schnepp 
12/10/05
The whole concept and thought of the grizzly bear's celebration of Spring is a brilliant idea; however, (there's always a "however" when one is critiquing (smile)) this is not traditional poetry, nor was it what they call "free verse"....but the unrhyming flow made for a harsh read, or perhaps "unvarnished" read is more apropos. But brilliant idea...and with a little more work...A superior piece of work. God bless.