Growing Into His Daughter | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Growing Into His Daughter | Previous Challenge Entry
By JANET JONES
11/27/14
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES

I felt like I was caught in spiritual adolescence for most of my thirties and early forties. You know that tumultuous place between the innocence of youth and the rebellion of teen years. Only I wasn’t youthful or in my teens. It was an uncomfortable place. I remember wishing God would just change me; sort of zap me with His super God powers and form me into this mature Christian with excellent behavior and right motives. I struggled to grow and come into this perfected person I’d come to believe He wanted. Then my life would be free and abundant. I’d have the consistent joy and peace the scriptures promise. I’d been a Christian since I was 18 so I was looking at roughly 20 years of salvation; surely I needed to come of age! “I am my father’s daughter,” I thought, and I want to look more like him.
Sometimes I think I stunted my growth when I married an addict at age 16. Years of my life being wrapped around his trying to get him clean and sober caused me to lose my own sense of self. I’d spend more time worrying and concerned about his walk with God than mine. Yet the years of struggle are what caused me to turn to God in the first place. I first cried out to Him for protection when my husband came home drunk one night and angry, because the house wasn’t clean. I fled the house with our 8 month old son and begged God to get us safely out of there. Over the years, I had to look to Him for strength in a way I never would have considered under circumstances. I really don’t know if living with an addict stunted my growth or forced me to put down roots and grow.
What I do know is this; at some point I came to a realization that God created me to be someone. There is a beautiful woman that He designed uniquely for me to become. My God identity is not dependent on my best behavior, nor is it a cookie cutter representation of Christians in general. What it depends on is an intimate relationship with my Creator. This closeness allows Him to form me from the inside out into His image. I’m starting to look like my Dad, and it has nothing to do with my ability. It has everything to do with His love and grace for me.
Many things in my life have tried to define me. Abuse in my childhood, an abusive marriage, a misconstrued view of scriptures, and expectations of others all have contributed to my view of who I am supposed to be. There is scripture that says not to call anyone Rabbi or Father because our Messiah is those things to us. Lately I’ve realized that in part, this scripture is telling us to not let others have that kind of authority over who we become. Truly my Father, my Teacher, my Messiah is writing my definition and creating me into His image as I yield my life and heart to Him. My job is not to be perfect but to sit at His feet and be perfected.
Are all my circumstances great? No, I still struggle with the consequences of being married to an addict. Do I have consistent peace and joy? Yes, because I trust my Father’s hand in my life.
I am still coming of age. Remarkably, what that looks like is becoming a kid again. I am completely dependent on my Maker for my identity and for the ability to become who He distinctively designed me to be. He is “growing me up.” Jesus says in scripture, “He who comes to me must become as a little child,” and so I sit at His feet like a little child and trust him.

PREVIOUS ENTRY | NEXT ENTRY
SUBMIT YOUR ENTRY FOR THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.