Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Where Angels Fear to Tread (not about the book) (09/08/11)
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TITLE: Dark places | Previous Challenge Entry
By Wesley Hesketh
09/10/11 -
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This hell’s inside my head.
In this place all melted down
I am the living dead.
The wickedness spins all around
Makes me feel real sick
I’m reaching for my Saviour,
I hope He will come quick.
The pain within tears me apart
Shreds my very soul.
Keeping me from standing up,
I never can be whole.
The laughter that’s so evil
Bounces off my brain.
It even changes how I think
It’s driving me insane.
My blessed Father hears my cry
Calms my every fear.
Reaching down He makes things safe
And He holds me near.
Ever since I met our Lord
He’s been a major part.
He lives within my every move
The keeper of my heart.
“I’ll never leave thee nor forsake thee (Heb 13-5)
Remember what I said.
I’ll save you from that evil place
Where Angels fear to tread.”
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This is a nice poem. Right to the point.
Thank you. Godbless
The only suggestion I might have is to work on the flow-try to have the same number of syllables and a pattern of stressed and unstressed words. This is something I really struggle with when I write poems and it's been mentioned to me before.
Personally I really enjoyed it and it spoke volumes to me. It has a great message and I could literally feel your anguish.