Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: In and Out (04/30/09)
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TITLE: Shuffling in and Shufflling out | Previous Challenge Entry
By Karie Hobson
05/07/09 -
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Pastor John had leaned against his desk. He was at a loss. Before him, Jamie sat quietly. She knew he was a good man. She knew that he didn’t have all the facts. He did too. He waited patiently and watched her emotions battle just under the surface. She knew she couldn’t bear to admit the lie she was living. Taking a deep breath, Jamie agreed that it was probably better for everyone if she no longer taught Children’s Church. She thought of all the little faces, all the voices that worshipped at the top of their lungs, all the hugs. She barely heard the rest of John’s comments; something about praying for restoration and a change of heart. She never saw the pained expression as he asked once again if there was anything he could do. Now, Jamie wondered who the “everyone” was and if it had been better for them that she had not been involved with those children. She wondered about the teenagers those little ones had become, as she moved past the brightly painted Sunday school rooms.
Jamie welcomed the warmth as she stepped out of the air conditioned building. For so many years, Jamie had lived her double life here at church more than anywhere else. Here she had enjoyed the peace and love working with children and the pain and fear of her secret.
She remembered the day before Vacation Bible School. It was the beginning of the end. Weather and tempers do tend to run together, if one gets hot so does the other oftentimes. Bob had been out of work for a few weeks and was getting testy. The volunteers for the BBQ were dropping out left and right. Tired and torn between church and husband, one day before the kick-off BBQ found her standing alone at the local warehouse store. Shopping with a cart bigger than she was and with a list of to do’s even bigger. When Jamie arrived home, Bob was angry; she expected anger, but not this. A call to the associate pastor excluded her from the first few days of VBS. She had hoped the bruising would go away by then. Over the next few weeks, the violence at home escalated. She had to call 911. By the time the police arrived both her arm and her heart were broken, and Bob was gone. He went and stayed with friends. He told them that he couldn’t take the drinking problem anymore. That was his explanation for Jamie’s broken arm; she had gotten drunk and fallen again. Others, in her small community picked up on things they had noticed over the years, bruises, missed functions, “odd behavior”.
I had asked myself, if they had seen those things, why didn’t they reach out? How could they think that of me? Now I know.
How could they know better, if no one was speaking the truth? I was so busy pretending that I didn’t need help that I didn’t see the attempts that were offered. It has taken me time to see that we need courage to touch each other’s lives. Sometimes it takes more courage to allow others to touch our life. I am so thankful for those that continued to reach out to me. I pray for those who still shuffle in and shuffle out of a church building without really seeing that they are the church. 1Corinthians 12:25 - God's purpose was that the body should not be divided but rather that all of its parts should feel the same concern for each other.
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I was confused at first by the non-linear timeline, and I had to backtrack a time or two to get the story straight.
This should be a wake-up call to all of us in churches.