Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Home for Christmas (11/20/08)
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TITLE: A Better Christmas? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ruth DESBOROUGH
11/27/08 -
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‘Home for Christmas!’ Janet scowled as she pushed her way through the last minute shoppers. Every year its the same thing, she muttered to herself. What is this Christmas thing anyway. We come together on Christmas Eve, get up early on Christmas Day and go to church, then when we get home gather around the tree and share our gifts. Later we will sit around the table for a big Christmas Dinner and eat far too much. Then its all over for another year. A waste of time.
I would much rather be with my friends, partying together. Maybe next year I’ll just do what I want!
She reached the bus station and boarded the bus for Brenton and home. She found a corner seat and settled down for the long long journey.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ah, there was her mother waiting for her. But wait, she looked different — no smile on her face. In fact tears were streaming down it. And she was all alone!
“Oh Janet,” she cried, “I’m so glad you’re home. Your Dad’s in the hospital. He’s had a heart attack. The doctors don’t think he’s going to make it through the night. But he wants to see you. If we hurry we might be in time.”
Grabbing Janet’s hand she pulled her along to the bus stop. Soon the bus came and they were on their way to the hospital.
As they entered her Dad’s room a smile lit his drawn face. Janet saw how frail he looked — not the fine looking man she knew.
Stretching out his hand he said quietly, “Janet. It’s Christmas again. I am so glad you came home. I won’t be with you though, but stay with your Mum. She will need you. I won’t be with you, but I will be ‘Home for Christmas’. I’ll be in the home my Jesus has prepared for me. Don’t cry for me. I love you Janet. God bless you.”
Tired from talking, he sank back on the pillows and fell into a deep sleep.
“Next stop Brenton.” T he loud voice of the conductor jerked Janet back from her dreaming. She hadn’t reached home yet, she was still on the bus.
Suppose though, the dream was true and her father was dying. Suppose she had not been coming home, but had selfishly stayed with her friends.
Banish the thought, she said. It's only Christmas once a year and I owe it to my parents to be with them. I’ll show them that I love them. I’ll make them happy.
‘Forgive me Lord”, she prayed, “for my rebellious thoughts. I’m going home for Christmas, and I’ll try to make it the best Christmas yet!” And she did!
454 words
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It would help the reader if you put an extra space in between your paragraphs and speakers. I would have liked to have seen a little more of this, a little more plot. Keep writing.
I agree, I'd have liked to hear how she made Christmas special. You still had plenty of words left to let your imagination flow on...