I thought I needed to hear I love you everyday | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: I thought I needed to hear I love you everyday | Previous Challenge Entry
By Pamela Murphey
02/27/08
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My story begins in July 2004 at approximately midnight. I was sleeping when suddenly awakened by the audible voice of God who said, “Though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death fear no evil for I am with you.” I immediately sat up in the bed thinking someone had broken into the house and God meant he would protect me from the robbers. After about 30 minutes I realized that’s not what God meant. As the days passed and nothing happen the assurance faded to the background that is until Oct when I found a lump in my breast.

I saw the doctor less than a week later. The minute she touched the lump she said that she wanted to set up a lumpectomy immediately. God reminded me of His assurance that July night, I knew then that it was cancer but God would bring me through. The lump was confirmed to be cancer when removed which meant a second procedure to remove lymph nodes, they were clean. The doctors felt I was rather young to have breast cancer thus I should begin Chemotherapy. This scared me a bit since I’d lost three aunts to chemotherapy ravaging their bodies. Again God reminded me of His blessed assurance which renewed my strength and determination.

My husband, Paul, is not a man who says much but I realized the news was devastating to him. He waited on me each day without ever complaining. Paul did just about everything for me because I was so sore from the surgeries. Then with Chemo he had to care for me each through treatment because I was too tired to get out of bed. He encouraged me during the treatments and made me laugh all the time. We love to notice things about our surroundings and he’s very good at finding something humorous. The night Paul shaved my head was so hard on him. I cannot imagine being in his position. Yet he made it through that while trying to make it easier for me. As the treatments progressed the doctors were amazed at how well I was doing. With the help of my wonderful husband I started looking forward to his parents’ 50th wedding anniversary weekend.

One trip in the car I leaned the wrong way on my chemo port. I did not realize at the time the move caused a blood clot in my chest. We ended up in the emergency room, me with a 104 fever, in the middle of the night. The hospital started an antibiotic that I turned out to be allergic to, immediately my throat started itching and I started throwing up. Paul went to get help right away and fortunately they were able to stop the reaction. I then laid in the emergency room for 16 hours waiting for a room to open up in intensive care. My husband sat in this metal chair sleeping on and off afraid to leave me alone. I finally convinced him to go home take care of the animals.

Finally we made it into a room and were settled in when the testing procedures started. My right arm cannot be used for anything because of the lymph node removal which meant all needles and IVs had to be done in the left arm which quickly started to swell. I received a CT that caused the doctor to believe I had a clot in my head as well this led to an MRI. They discovered it was simply a looped blood vessel.

Daily Paul would question the nurses about what medicine I was receiving and how often. He would grill the doctors on procedures what course of action they would take. He was my protector as well as my comforter. Paul would tell me stories of the dog’s shenanigans. He would help me walk and each day he would gently bathe me before bed. He laughed with me and cried with me. He was even amazed at how much I loved the staff that took care of me.

I’m fully recovered now and realize I received such a gift from cancer. I learned that God is more real the any disease. That I have much love and support from family and friends. Most of all I learned that although my husband doesn’t say I love you everyday he shows me he does and it means so much more than mere words.

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