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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Confused (08/16/07)
Tonight I am feeling quite unkindly toward someone I have known for many years. I stood with this woman on the day she married my brother. My feelings for her throughout the years have been very confusing. I have loved her. I have hated her. She has endangered lives and broken hearts all of her life and it makes me mad. Yet my heart breaks for her, for I believe that she has known not one moment of true peace in all of her days on this earth.

I thank God that hopelessness is not among the emotions that antagonize my heart. For I know that “the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,” (Psalm 33:18, NIV). My eyes are on Him. His eyes are on me. My hope is in Him and I duly commit to trusting Him with the outcome of the storm that is brewing tonight.

Twenty-one years ago, my niece was born. She was the firstborn child of two newly sober parents and the firstborn grandchild of her four grandparents. We all celebrated her birth together. Her mommy and daddy had married just seven months before. They had known one another for just a short time, discovered the pregnancy, and bravely took the plunge together into marriage. Four years later baby girl number two came along. Four months after that, the marriage was over and the lives of these girls would, from that point on, be comparable to that of a ship on an unpredictable sea. Sometimes it would be beautiful and breathtaking but quite often more like riding the crest of a giant tsunami.

Over and over through the years I loved them, prayed for them, and put them into God’s own Hands. Once they saw their Mommy led away from home in handcuffs, under arrest for domestic abuse. Then they were forcibly taken from her and she declared an unfit mother. When my brother and his young wife took custody of them, the couple became not just newlyweds but an instant stepfamily. The failure of that marriage brought more heartache and pain.

More years and more prayers followed. Once, when she was thought to be doing well, Mommy was allowed to take her youngest daughter on a trip to the beach. A few days later, a drunken stranger called my brother to say that he had been caring for this little girl with her Mommy nowhere to be found and could someone please come and get her. On another occasion, Mommy was found sprawled on a sidewalk, bloody and passed out. Mommy went over and over again to rehab. Then Mommy went to prison. On Mommy’s 42nd birthday, her youngest daughter tried to commit suicide.

When I think of my nieces today I am reminded of a verse in the Book of Isaiah that speaks of how God can bring beauty from ashes. God has brought them through the flames many times. They have good attitudes despite all they’ve been through. They are loving and caring, strong and responsible. They love the Lord and thank Him for the goodness in their lives. I admire them both so much and have always considered it a privilege to be “Aunt Lisa.”

Tonight I went shopping with my daughter. Just after we entered the store, she received a call from my oldest niece. The two of them are eight months apart in age and as close as two cousins could ever be. Just a few words into Angel’s side of the conversation and I could tell that something was very wrong. Then she hangs up and informs me that “Mommy,” while drunk, decided tonight it was time to tell her firstborn child some dark secret that she has had to “carry as a burden” for all of these 21 years. My niece is, of course, very confused.

My own moment of confusion turns to understanding as I flash back in time, remembering some of the “iffy” circumstances regarding my niece’s paternity. As I close my eyes, I can see in my mind a gathering storm in the distance, a storm that has the power to do much damage. This is my hope: God is Bigger than the biggest storm. I see Jesus standing there, ready to lead the way, his hand outstretched, knowing that He will see us through the hard days ahead. I begin to pray…
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Diane Bertrand
08/23/07
Thank you for sharing. Your story is well written. Just this morning I got a new perspective on just this sort of thing...Imstead of saying "God, here is my problem", try Problem, here is my God! God bless.
Jan Ackerson
08/24/07
Perfect title for this heartbreaking article. Your nieces are blessed to have you.
christine bastow
08/25/07
What a sad story. Yes, God will have his way in the whirlwind and the storm, if we just keep on praying. Thanks for sharing.
Chris x
Day Kap
08/30/07
Thank you for sharing your story. He is a faithful God - it is good to know that even if things gor wrong He will always be there, holding our hand, guiding us...

I like your style of writing, I sincerely hope that your nieces will be "alright". God Bless
Joanne Sher 
08/31/07
Congratulations, Lisa. Your entry has placed 11th in Level 1. With so many entries in this level, you've really done well. The Lists for the Top 15 in each Level and the Top 40 overall is available in the Weekly Results and Highest Rankings forum of our Faithwriters Message Boards.