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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Valley (08/10/06)
THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY

“Hello,” said Elaine sleepily into the phone as she looked at the clock. I can’t believe I took such a long nap, she thought. Susan should be home about now.

“May I speak to Mrs. Patrick?” said an unfamiliar voice on the other end of the phone, interrupting her thoughts.

“This is she,” answered Elaine, wondering whose voice she was hearing.

“This is Dr. Murray at Memorial Hospital. I'm sorry but your daughter, Susan, has been seriously hurt in an accident, and you need to come to the hospital right away.

Oh, no, this can’t be happening, thought Elaine. Thoughts raced through her mind as hung up and dialed her husband Jim’s number at work. I knew I shouldn’t have let her drive so soon after just getting her license, thought Elaine as she heard Jim‘s voice say hello.

“Jim! Susan has been in an accident. Dr. Murray from Memorial Hospital just called and said we need to get there right away, because she is seriously hurt. By this time, Elaine was sobbing into the phone so much she couldn’t talk. After saying goodbye to Jim, she was shaking so hard she could hardly hang up the phone.

What if she dies before I can get there, thought Elaine as she grabbed her handbag with the keys to her car. I’m so glad she accepted Christ last month, she thought. Oh, dear Lord, please keep her safely in your hands, and if it be your will, please let her be okay, prayed Elaine she sped to the hospital.

Elaine pulled up to the emergency entrance of Memorial Hospital just as Jim arrived. Jim took Elaine’s hand as they went together to the cubicle where Susan was lying on a hospital bed with doctors surrounding her. The bleep, bleep, bleep of the machine hooked up to her gave out an eerie sound. Elaine caught herself keeping time with it while she looked down at Susan so still and pale.

“Susan, can you hear me?” asked Elaine. “Hang in there. You’re going to be okay.”

Susan stirred a little as if she heard her mother’s voice.

As Elaine stood there, the words of Psalm 23 ran through her mind. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

Oh, no, Lord! Please don’t take her, thought Elaine.

Elaine turned to Jim and said, “Honey, let’s pray together and ask God’s protection over Susan. God said he would be with us through anything, even death. No matter what, He has promised to comfort us.” Jim and Elaine stood by Susan’s bed and asked the Lord for protection over Susan and to give the doctor’s wisdom as to how to help her and most of all for His will. A peace settled over Elaine as they finished praying.

Finally, the doctor’s got Susan stabilized and sent her to a regular room. Jim and Elaine stayed with Susan until visiting hours were over. For the next three days Susan hovered between life and death. Elaine stayed with her during the day and prayed for her. Jim came in the evening when he was finished work. Together they went to the throne of God on Susan’s behalf.

“Mom, I dreamed that God was walking with me and holding my hand while I was sleeping,” said Susan when she woke up after three days of being sedated. “It was so peaceful with Him being beside me. I’m so glad that I took Jesus as my Saviour,” said Susan with a sweet smile on her face.

“So am I Susan. But, you know what, I’m so glad He promised that He would be with us through the valley of the shadow of death. He gave your Dad and me such peace. Let’s just take a minute right now and thank Him for his goodness and love to us.”
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This article has been read 766 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
08/18/06
I received a similar phone call once, and you did a great job of capturing the emotions that a mother goes through under those circumstances.

Work a bit on dialog--eliminating tags, for example, and making it more realistic.

So glad she recovered!
Marilee Alvey
08/19/06
I found the "she thought" interfered with the flow of the dialog. We know who's thinking here, so leaving it out wouldn't interfere.

This is a touching piece!
Amy Edwards
08/20/06
I know the horror of being in your position. When my daughter's AVM ruptured we didn't know what God had planned for her, yet HE was in control and walked with us every step of the way.

A wonderful article.