The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/29/06
I really like the images in this piece. I can almost see this story as one chapter of a longer work. Good writing!
I found this piece very captivating! Inserting spaces between your paragraphs will make for easier reading. I agree with Ann that this feels like it is part of some larger work. Well done.
08/01/06
I agree about spacing in between paragraphs for an easier read. Also watch where a new paragraph begins. I think I would even make an extra couple of spaces in between character changes in a peice like this (1 space in between paragraphs, for example, and 3 in between character changes).
Nice story, nicely written. Keep working and learning! Deb
This story grabbed me from start to finish.