The King inside me | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The King inside me | Previous Challenge Entry
By Eli Espinoza
07/10/06
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As I head home after a 14 hour night shift, all I can think about are my two girls taking, and how they are taking up my spot on the bed. My oldest is seven and her baby sister is a mere two months old. I always tip toe in the house because I do not want to wake anyone up. As I reach down to kiss the baby, the scent of baby lotion and milk takes me back to when my oldest was a baby. The more I reflect on my past; the more saddened I become. For as long I can remember, I would let self doubt and self pity run my mind. Nightmares would haunt me ever since I was a child, and the addictions of alcohol and drugs ran deep in my veins. In fact, they cursed my family tree.
When my oldest daughter was only a year old, the devil had his demons pulling me every which way but up and home. I could not believe that I was doing to my family what was done to me as small child. I had no idea of the power of God Almighty. It wasn’t until one day that I was watching a preacher on the tube. He spoke of the King that lives inside of all men. He kept making the congregation repeat these words, “God has made me a king. I am great.” I was overwhelmed by the chant and the persistence of the pastor. I fell to my knees and explained to God that I did not know exactly how to pray, but I wanted him to know that I needed Him to take over my disobedient life. I prayed that He would help me uncover the Great King that was inside of me. I also explained to him that I never had a father figure, and it makes it even more difficult to kneel down and pray to the Father. I cannot say that it happened right away, but I can say that I took my first step that day.
Since that day, I know now the Great King that lives inside of me. In fact, my two girls remind me of the great man that I am. I finally figured out that God loved me when I was at my worse. He saw me as a scared child that needed a father to hold him and reassure him that everything was going to fine. All I had to do is call out to Him. Through God’s grace and love, I have become a father that even I can be proud of. The nightmares, the addiction, and the self doubt have been replaced with Greatness and unconditional love for my two daughters, my wife, and my God.

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