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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Great (07/06/06)
I watched their blonde curls dance in the early morning breeze as they played together. I sat amazed at how much they had grown over the past couple months. Keith was almost three and his brother Jay was sixteen months younger and followed Keith’s every move. Since their dad’s accident we were all learning to depend on each other and forming a close bond. The kids were my life.

Granddad and Maw came up the drive. What a pleasant surprise, I thought. Keith stood close by my side and Jay hugged my knee.

“We were on our way to see Aunt Mary; thought we’d come by and pick up the boys she’d love to see them.” Maw said.
Keith glanced at me for a reassuring look. Jay hung tight to my knee.
“It’s alright honey.” Maw said as she took Jay’s hand. Jay looked unsure but went.

Two hours…four hours… the time was growing longer and longer. It was dark and late and I was getting worried. I paced wondering about all the possibilities. I decided to call their home although I didn’t expect them to answer.
“Hello?” Maw answered.
I hung up quickly. I sat there confused, trying to figure out what had happened.
Why would they take them to their place? Why?
I have to go get them. My mind was racing. Why didn’t they call me? Did they take my boys? Questions kept running through my head. I got in the car and drove. I knew it was going to be a long drive that would take me into the morning hours.

It had been awhile since I had been on that long dirt road but it was familiar. I could feel the butterflies as I saw the house. I pulled in the drive and sat for a moment to gather my courage. I knocked on the door. Maw opened it.
“C’mon in.” she said.
“Mommy Mommy!” Keith screamed with delight as he tackled me with hugs. I scooped him up giving him kisses and hugs as I held him tight. “Where’s Jay?” I asked.
“He’s in the back bedroom taking a nap.” Maw said.
I took Keith’s hand and walked back to get Jay. I peeked in the bedroom and when our eyes met Jay laughed with excitement. I picked him up and cradled him in my arms. I had a hold of Keith’s hand and Jay on my hip. When I stepped in the hall Granddad was standing there with Maw behind him.
“Where do you think you are going?” Granddad asked.
“I’m leaving with my kids!” I said as I pulled them close.
Granddad pried Keith’s hand from mine and Maw took him to another room. “Mommy Mommy!” he cried wanting me to help him. I held tightly to Jay with both arms.
“Give me the boy.” Granddad said sternly.
“NO! “Why are you doing this?” I yelled as I tried to push by him. Jay began to cry.
Granddad pushed me and Jay against the wall and started pulling Jay up by his arms. I held on tight around his waist.
“Please! Don’t take my babies!” I begged. I felt a blow to my head and then to my stomach. I kicked and fought to no avail. Jay was peeled from my arms with another crushing blow to my stomach from Granddad. Maw took Jay from Granddad kicking and screaming as I fell to the floor in a ball.
I was hurt, humiliated and defeated. I could hear my babies crying desperately for me. I begged again through my sobs, “Please don’t take my babies!”
“It’s time for you to leave now.” Granddad said as he forced me to stand, pushing me and half carrying me out the door. I sat in my car numb, confused and angry about what had just happened.

Father, for anyone who has experienced this horrible act of injustice please help them to know that sometimes we will experience great pain in our lives as Paul did in Romans 9:2 My heart is filled with bitter sorrow and unending grief. NLT Our children are a wonderful blessing but you are our life as you remind us in Matthew 10:37 …if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mind. NLT You will be there through the challenges of this life. You will teach us and mold us into the willing vessels that you want us to be. Amen
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This article has been read 875 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Carol Shaffron
07/15/06
This is quite heart wrenching and it most certainly leaves one wondering what has happened here and why! In my opinion the telling is extremely passionate and filled with emotion. It drew me in, but I think it needs a resolution for the reader. The mother's finding consolation in God is a good thing, and yet I feel lost with the ending.
Jan Ackerson
07/17/06
This seems to have been written from personal experience, and if so, my heart goes out to you.

I was a bit confused while reading it, as no foundation was laid early in the piece to lead your readers to expect the grandparents' actions. This is easily fixed in future edits.
Joanne Sher 
07/17/06
Wow - this took me by surprise! Very gut-wrenching story!
Valerie Routhieaux
07/17/06
This took me by surprise. No lead up, no resolution. Left me feeling numb with what happened.
william price
07/19/06
Excellent writing. But I too am left wondering, WHY!
In the future you might want to break up the gray space a little. Makes reading easier. But with that said, your story kept me reading anyway. I just wish it would have had a more conclusive ending. Keep writing, you have talent. Will look forward to your next entry.