The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 871 times
Member Comments
I really like the vivid descriptions of the main character in this story--especially where you said he "smelled like he was marinating..."

I also really appreciate the message. As a brain different person who has sometimes been misunderstood and hurt by fellow believers, I can relate! The story encouraged me.

The fluctuation between first and third person-- sometimes "Blaze," sometimes "I"--seemed confusing. It would be good to stick to either first or third person throughout the account.

Thanks for sharing!
Interesting and sad. You made us understand why this man was so troubled and tormented. I like the scripture you incorporated at the end; it added even more to the understanding of this man's character and the reason for his desperation. I also admired his honesty.

To help with readability, try double spacing between paragraphs. It is easier for us to read that way and helps us not to miss anyting you've written.

Keep writing!
My favorite sentence was when his "...tears were dripping from his eyes like someone was wringing out a rag." Good job.
This story is a good reminder that people's lives are often not as simple as we think, and we shouldn't assume anything by appearances!

I hope that there is a part two. I would like to know what the answer to his question was. I know that stories don't always have happy endings, but what about the story Jesus told of the prodigal son?