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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fulfillment (04/06/06)
Sarah felt like her whole life was falling apart. She felt completely empty inside like there was a big hole that needed to be filled. Just a few short months earlier everything about Sarah’s life had been, picture perfect. She had plenty of friends, made good grades, had a good relationship with her family, and was a strong Christian.

However, six months ago Sarah’s entire world changed forever. It was the day before her little sister, Becky, was to leave on a weeklong holiday with her best friend. That morning Becky had asked her big sister to take her to the mall so she could buy something she needed for her trip. Everything was going great, until another car came out of nowhere and she had swerved to avoid hitting it. That was the last thing she could remember, everything else was just a blur.

It wasn’t until Sarah awoke to find men in white lab coats bending over her that she discovered what had happened. Upon waking Sarah frantically began asking questions about where she was. After a moment’s hesitation one of the men a doctor explained, “You were in a car accident and have been in this hospital for several weeks.”

Just then the door opened and in walked her parents looking unusually tired and frail. “How is Becky?“ asked Sarah, when she saw them enter the room. With tears brimming in his eyes her father gently took her hand and said, “Your sister died in the accident.” Before Sarah even had the chance to comprehend her father’s words the only female doctor in the room stepped forward. In a cold, emotionless voice she said, “Sarah, your legs were severely damaged in the accident and we had to amputate them in order to save your life.”

Upon hearing this Sarah burst out laughing, she couldn’t believe that something that horrible had happened to her. But after seeing the look on her mother’s face Sarah started to panic and try and prove the doctor was joking. Sarah then tried to swing her legs over the edge of the bed and stand up. What she saw next shocked her to the very core; all she could see was bandaged stumps. Her legs were gone and life would never be the same.

In a matter of minutes Sarah’s whole world had changed forever. Not only had she lost her precious, little sister; she had also lost her legs. Her parents tried to comfort her saying “God will help you get through this.” Sarah pretended to agree for their sake, but deep down she blamed God for everything.


Finally after almost three months of extensive rehabilitation Sarah was discharged from hospital. But Sarah couldn’t have been more bitter, angry, resentful, or depressed if she tried. Over the last couple of months she had gone through many hours of painful rehabilitation for nothing. She was leaving with nothing more than a wheelchair and a pair of plastic legs. “What is the point of even living?” thought Sarah, “I’ll never amount to anything now.”

During the following weeks Sarah gave excuse after excuse for not going back to school, until her parents had had enough. They forced her to go back hoping it would be good for her. But, Sarah’s first day was horrible and triggered a further downward spiral. Sarah started taking drugs and drinking alcohol in order to forget about her problems. It wasn’t until she was arrested for stealing cigarettes that things began to change.

As part of her sentence Sarah was forced to attend counselling and do community service. After many sessions with her counsellor Sarah was finally forced to realise what had caused her to go over the edge and break the law. Through this Sarah realized that she had been wrong to turn the drugs to fill the hole in her heart. God was the only one who could take away the pain she felt and she needed to put her trust back in Him. Sarah realized that with the help of God, her family, and friends she would make it through the tough times. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” became her motto. Even though her goals and dreams may need to change Sarah realized that her life could still have purpose and meaning if Jesus was in control.
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This article has been read 859 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Edy T Johnson
04/13/06
You write very well, capturing emotion and mood and drawing the reader into your story. The last three paragraphs seem "condensed" (word count limits) and could be expanded to make this a first-rate short story. Keep writing!
Suzanne R
04/14/06
OOOOOOOh ... how awful!

You brought us right into the hospital scene - very well done. And the 'take-home-message' was great.

Good job.
Jan Ackerson
04/15/06
This writing shows great promise! To bump its quality up a notch, watch out for commonly used or predictable phrases like "her life was falling apart", "hole that needed to be filled," and "entire world changed forever." Think of new ways to show your readers these concepts, rather than telling us.

You did a great job of handling the issues of life after trauma. Thanks!
Marilyn Schnepp 
04/15/06
THe story is fine, but punctuation needs to be edited, and also excess words taken out that are unnecessary...which will make the story flow more smoothly. Keep at it, and soon editing will come automatically. God Bless.
Crista Darr
04/17/06
A journey - indeed. Please work on making your writing concise. Make every sentence important. For example: "But after seeing the look on her mother’s face Sarah started to panic and try and prove the doctor was joking." There are three sentences here! The look on her mother's face - show us, let us see it too. The panic - let us panic with the mc. Let us hope the doctors are wrong as she tries to move her legs. Keep writing and SHOW, don't tell. Great work.
Jean Elizabeth 
04/18/06
You have a great story idea here but there is too much packed into this short piece. You are a good writer and I think there is potential for a wonderful expanded version! Keep writing.