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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: TEXTING (05/18/17)
“Hey…where are you? Why aren’t you answering?”



It's the fourth time I’ve called Gary in an hour. I got this strange text from him and since he’s at home with his ankle broken, I know he couldn’t have gone far!



“Babe, you didn’t complete the text, it just says “I LO”, I know you can’t go far! Why aren’t you answering?!”



“Dear Jesus, why do I overreact so much? Please help me calm down!” I pray this pray over and over and over. Finally I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been trying to reach him for 90 minutes now.



“Hi guys, I’m a little worried about my hubby so I’m going home”. I tell the team in the most relaxed voice I can muster.



And as I drive home, I think about all that has happened in the last 9 days. During our church baseball game, Gary tries to slide into home and instead his foot got wedged against the pavement and he fell. It turns out he’s fractured his ankle in 3 places and they will be operating on it tomorrow. He’s going to need screws, plates and at least 3 months of recuperation. I only came to work to complete 2 projects before I take off time to help him.



I really didn’t want to leave him, but it was only for a couple of hours.The accident was such a scary moment and it showed me that I can get through just about anything with him.



We have this awesome bond that makes everything easy, even the challenges. He’s my rock and I’m actually glad to have a chance to take care of him.



"I bet he just fell asleep!" I say this outloud although I'm the only one in the car. The medication can take a lot out of you and he probably doesn’t even know I’m worried. Its just that sending an incomplete text, then not answering the phone makes me think bad thoughts.



It takes me just 20 minutes to make it into the house.



“Baby, you ok?”



“Hey baby, what are you doing back so early? Yeah, I’m fine, did you bring me anything to eat?”



I was so worried! You sent me a incomplete text and then didn’t answer the phone when I called!



A wave of relief washed me completely, I felt myself smiling and I felt my hands touching my arms as I hugged myself. But then I put my hand up to my cheek and it's wet; I'm crying.



“Mom, are you awake? Do you think you can eat something?” It’s my daughter Nya.



“Did you have the dream again?” She asks me but she already seems to know I did.



“Yeah, it's the same dream every time”. The dream is exactly what happened, except when I got home, he was lying peacefully on the couch, just like he was taking a nap. You would never realize he passed away. He was so clearly resting.



“You know he was trying to say “I LOVE YOU! He died trying to make sure you knew what he felt for you”. Nya has said this to me over and over for the past 5 days.I know she's right, but its still impossible to understand that he's gone. I mean, I KNOW he's gone, but I just don't understand.



“I know baby, I know, I loved him so much! I think my dreams keep trying to fix what really happened, but I appreciate that he wanted me to be sure that I knew he loved me, it was the last thing he did!”
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This article has been read 466 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
05/27/17
Amen! Powerful message here!
BLessings~
Elaine Hemingway
05/27/17
A good take on the topic. I did have to go over the beginning again to clarify but a good twist at the end. Blessings on your writing.
Sherry Brock
05/28/17
Interesting storyline with a heartbreaking twist. I do not know if this is fiction or not, but I think your transition from the happy ending to the sad truth using the dream twist is very clever. It flowed naturally for this reader and, in my opinion, was well written. Can't wait to read what you submit next.
Karen Emmer
05/29/17
Great story and use of the topic. Trying to communicate that you love someone knowing it could be your last opportunity makes for a powerful story.
As for for the dialogue I felt that the prayer could have been in italics rather than parentheses. The use of he said, or she said helps as well to identify who is talking, although it's not always necessary. Good job!
Eneida Moscon
05/30/17
I like the way you used the dialogue to advance the plot and give information.

The story was well written with action, background, development, climax and ending, all in place. You did a good job! Blessings