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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: BUG (04/06/17)
The Big Unexpected Guest



Six year old Evelyn counted the plates at the dinner table. Six? Normally there were five plates and five forks and five spoons and four knives that filled the place mats in front of the chairs. But she counted six, and the nice silverware was lined up with the fancy cups from Mommy’s and Daddy’s wedding day. And she knew right away someone special was coming. A visitor. A guest. And she could only think of one person.



She skipped to the kitchen where everything smelled good, and Mommy was stirring something on the stove. “Is Grandma coming to dinner?” she asked.



“Grandma. What makes you think Grandma is coming?” Mommy asked.



“Because it’s a special ‘casion.” Evelyn stated the obvious.



“What makes you think it’s a special occasion?” Mommy asked as she turned the fire low and put a lid on the pan she had stirred.



“’Cause Jesus died on a cross and He rised from the grave.”



“That’s right. Do you know why He did that?”



A smile lit Evelyn’s face, then she looked down and pointed to her heart. “So He could come into my heart. Is Grandma coming?



Mommy laughed softly. “No, Grandma is not coming. Daddy’s bringing a B.U.G.”



Evelyn walked back and rested her chin on the table next to the sixth plate. A B.U.G meant a guest they didn’t know. Would they look special? Smell special? Like Grandma? Would they have stories to tell and songs to sing?



A car door slammed, and then another. “They’re here,” Mommy announced. “Go get your brothers.”



Evelyn didn’t want to miss the someone special coming through the door, but Jesus said that children should obey their parents. So she raced up the stairs and found her brothers playing Nerf basketball, slamming the soft orange ball into the hoop.



“Mommy said to come get you,” she told them. “Daddy bringed someone special. A B.U.G.”



“Who?” They asked at the same time.



Evelyn shrugged her shoulders. “Not Grandma.” Then she hurried back down the stairs not wanting the boys to see the someone special before she did. But she stopped three stairs from the bottom at the most unexpected guest.



Her brothers almost plowed into her before coming to halt next her. Their eyes popped out as big as hers.



Standing next to Daddy was tallest, meanest, ugliest man they had ever seen. His beard was long and knotted, and his hair uneven all over his head. His coat looked oily and his pants torn at the knee. He stared back at them as they stood like statues on the stairs, unable to speak or breathe.



Evelyn chewed her bottom lip in despair. Her heart was pounding hard, and Mommy only gave her a weak, not very reassuring smile.



Daddy cleared his throat and made the introductions. “Kids, this is George.” He said like he too was scared. “George, this is Jake and Jonathan and Evelyn. And this is my wife Cynthia.”



No one said a “Hi” or “Hello” or “Nice to meet you”. They just stared. This was Biggest Unexpected Guest they ever had. Mommy forced a smile to her lips then clapped her hands. “I’ll go get dinner on the table.”



Evelyn was stuck on that third step from the bottom and the boys had advanced to the second.



George was the first to speak. “Maybe I should just go,” he told Daddy. His face was long and sad and his voice was only more than a whisper.



“But you can’t go,” Evelyn said. “You’re the someone special. The B.U.G.” And somewhere deep inside she felt a tugging that brought her to the bottom of the stairs. “Mommy put six plates on the table, and six forks and six spoons and five knives. Because I can’t use the knife yet.”



She walked up to the George and took his brown stained hand and led him to the table where the sixth plate was set. “This seat is for the someone special. For Grandma, for Daddy’s boss, for Jesus at Christmas, and for you today. The B.U.G…Best Unexpected Guest.”



George looked broken and lost, but a smile found his eyes.

“Then I best get cleaned up.”
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This article has been read 601 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Judy Ewald
04/14/17
I love that story! well written whether true or not . I did not grow up in a Christian home, but if I did I would like it to have been like that family. Thanks of sharing/
Michael Dreher
04/14/17
Hello, and thank you for your article.

First let me say that I really enjoyed the story. My wife tells me that her dad used to do the same thing before he passed away. I can only imagine how that would go over in many homes today.

Second,from a critical stand-point (which isn't much since it is well done), you could work on tightening up your grammar.

For instance: "Mommy’s and Daddy’s wedding day" just sounds a little funny to read. Understanding the story is coming from the viewpoint of a child, I get it... but still, it could read easier.

That may be nitpicking. You also seem to like the word "and." There are a lot of them in the first paragraph.

"Her brothers almost plowed into her before coming to halt next her."

I noticed a missing word from this sentence. You should have just ended the sentence with "coming to a halt." You meant to say "coming to a halt next to her" but left out the "to."

Again, all of this would just tighten up your writing.

Other than that, I loved the story, enjoyed the outcome, and I look forward to more articles from you.
Agatha Mangwende 
04/15/17
Very compassionate story, with a bit of mystery to it and quiet relevant at this Easter time. Thank you
Elaine Hemingway
04/15/17
A lovely take on the theme. I agree about the little problems that will be solved with time and tightening.
Larry Whittington
04/17/17
A child can usually say it best. It is too bad we have to grow up and then we have to be reminded how we should act and feel towards others.

Get an artist to draw some pictures and make this into a teaching story book for parents to read to their young children. In this way not only the young will be reminded but also the old.
Phillip Cimei
04/18/17
"Out of the mouth of babes"

Great story. You really sent a powerful message that many people, even Christians, never get.

I wonder how many angels, with this guest's appearance, are wandering the earth waiting for someone to ask them home to dinner?

How many homeless are waiting for us to not only give them sandwich bread, but the "Bread of Life".

Great job. Hit the topic, great hook, flowed nicely and had a good conclusion. Work on some of the finer points others have mentioned. Super Job. You will be moving up soon. This is a winner to me.
Bonnie Bowden 
04/27/17
Congratulations on placing 3rd in the Beginners category this week, Karen.

I enjoyed the P.O.V of the MC. You made the situation come alive for me.