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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: CALENDAR (10/20/16)
Paging through the Millenium calendar
I realise that time just races past
without waiting or offering a breather
to reflect and recollect what's happened

Sixteen years have furtively flown away
I wish I possessed a time machine
to do the right things and undo the wrongs
Hazekiah's faith I wish I displayed

My daughters study at college
slogging for the chosen courses
As they mature they are less adorable
Yet I struggle to understand and relate

Wheel-chair bound, has been my wife
since ruptured aneurysm
Her care-givers the family have become
bearing each other's burdens

Pushing nineties is my Mum
Frail but strong-willed
determined to live life to the fullest
I pray and long for her salvation

Glad that I still work
despite the bleak economy
trying to support the family
Yes, He provides and meets our needs

There are things that become history
there are things that will join eternity
His Word and His Will will remain
even it spells curtains for the world

Let me cling on to these truths
fervently follow Joseph's footsteps
trusting God to transform whole saga
into part of His grand tapestry
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This article has been read 572 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Sherry Brock
10/27/16
Your thoughts are very organized & clear. I could feel your emotion as you wrote about each family member.
Chris Goglin
10/28/16
You have summarized the struggles in your life very well. Your poem transitioned from each problem to the next with ease and understanding. Yet, there was hope at the end that God was in control! Great job! God Bless!
Larry Whittington
10/28/16
It is a challenge and somewhat frightening to ask ourselves: "Am I doing what God has gifted me to be doing at this moment in time."

Yes, our mind goes from time to time without focusing on the future and that how I have lived will affect it.

Keep thinking and expressing yourself.
Jan Ackerson
10/28/16
Your poem painted a very clear picture of the concerns and issues in your life.

One thing you might want to work on is the flow of your poem. It's set up in four stanzas, and the reader expects a structured poem like this to have similar meter and rhythm in each stanza. Since it's not a rhyming poem, you don't need precise rhythm, but this just felt a bit bumpy to me, along with some forced construction. I wonder if the same little vignettes might have worked just as well as prose.

The last few stanzas were lovely, with eloquently expressed hope.
Lea Austin
10/31/16
You've shared a lot about your life in this poem, and your love for your family is unmistakable. I like the way your last line circles back to the title.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
10/31/16
This is a lovely poem. You really touched on a lot of things as you went through the different trials and triumphs. Even though you mention the word calendar, I felt like you missed the topic a bit. It was more about getting through life, perserving. I do think there is a powerful message in here though, and I had a lump in my throat more than once.