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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: OVERLOAD (10/06/16)
Trying Times

We are living in very troubling and stressful times everyone can see that. Everything from the economy to simply trying to decide who to vote for has because a major chore. Everyone seem too long for much simpler times, quiet days and peaceful nights. Now we're left wondering where to go to find peace of mind. It seems that everything we once counted on has suddenly turned upside down. Our nation that once held so much promise and served as a shining beacon for the rest of the world don’t seem to be so peaceful anymore and that bright light seem to shine just a little dimmer each day. Nerves are rattled, our foundation seems uncertain and that brighter tomorrow don’t look so bright anymore. Why is that? What have we forgotten? Why does everything seem to be so unsure? The answer is simple. We have forgotten our God. That’s not to say that we no longer go to church, or that we have stopped praying but it does seem as if we have let something slip away from us and that something is the peace that Christ Jesus promised us; the peace that passes all understanding. We have forgotten that Jesus said to cast all our cares on him for he cares for us. We have forgotten that he said come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. One of the lines in the gospel song “What a Friend We Have in Jesus" says “Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. These are not just mere words. These are our instructions from God Almighty on how to deal with stuff times. These are his instructions to us on what to do when you are feeling overwhelmed and overloaded. We must remember that Christ is still the answer and that he still has the answer for us today. Christ is still speaking in that still small voice; we just have to get quiet enough hear him. His answer for what to do when you are feeling overloaded with the burdens and cares of life is simply this; cast your cares on him for he cares for you.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Pamela Hill
10/13/16
This is a very good message.

It would be easier to read if there was some white space between thoughts. Also, don't forget to read it over for any errors before submitting.

Thanks for reminding us, the only place to find true peace is in Him.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
10/14/16
This is a great message and one I've heard echoed from all corners of the US. I know many people feel overwhelmed and worry if true peace will ever be a reality on this side of heaven.

Be careful about using absolute words such as everyone, every time, everything. You may want to share your experiences and thoughts, if you feel comfortable doing so. Something that little can make a big change and make the piece more yours and therefore, more relatable. (instead of just another complaint about the country.) Also, make sure you stay consistent with your voice (first person vs second person) and match singular subjects with singular verbs.(For example: This: Everyone seem too long
Should be: Everyone seems to long... Another example: I picked up the remote and snapped off the TV. What is happening to this country? I understand these are trying times; I worry that I might lose my job while my brother told me he is stressing over health insurance.
I stand up and stride across the room. I may not be able to save the world, but I can make an important contribution! Dropping to my knees, I close my eyes, bow my head and clasp my hands together.
I know I took a lot of liberties, and I understand this may not fit your story, but I hope it gives you an idea of what I was trying to say.

I think you did a nice job of writing on topic. I also liked the verses you used to back up your message (make sure you cite refernces). You definitely gave this reader much to think and pray about. Keep writing and God bless.
Larry Whittington
10/16/16
Maybe your most important sentence is: "We have forgotten our God."

There is too much in this country spoken about believing and you are saved and that's it. Nothing about how our God is a Holy God, therefore be ye also holy and obey him.

Thoughts well written. For ease of reading you may use paragraphs to arrange your main thoughts.

Loni Bowden-Horn 
10/19/16
This story had a strong message for the readers.

When you submit a story, you can preview your work to see if it needs to be formatted differently. You can go back and make as many changes as necessary.

You made some excellent points that are certainly true in our world today.