Blessed Assurance | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Blessed Assurance | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jacqueline Julyan
08/22/16
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I have discovered the truth of the Bible, that there is indeed a place for the soul when you die, and if you die on this earth without Jesus, then many are heading into a place called hell forever. Similarly, if you accept and invite Jesus Christ into your life, confess your sins, receive the Holy Spirit, then heaven awaits you. Yet, following Jesus is very hard and the path is narrow indeed. ‘But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it’. (Matthew 7:14)

One of the most wonderful, yet challenging gifts from God, is the gift of free-will, so as we continually seek God, choosing His Way, He provides all the grace and mercy we need. The truth is that without Jesus we are nothing and spiritually dead. ‘For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord’. (Romans 6:23).

Continual trials and tribulations have come throughout my life since a child but I have come to delight in God’s will for my life, despite all the pain and suffering. I have been one of those sheep belonging to Jesus, who has constantly wandered off, yet in His great love, He left the other ninety-nine sheep and came in search of me. This reality and experience has led me to an insurmountable joy of being alive and knowing Jesus.

In my deepest despair I faced death, I even wanted it, not knowing in my ignorance where this would lead me. In constant anguish and torment my past abuse chained me with overwhelming emotions that I could not be free of. I was blinded by a false sense of loyalty to those who betrayed me and lived for years with raw emotions of hate, rage and bitterness. Yet I still called out to God to help me.

My prayer to Jesus, took place in a cheap hotel in London, the irony being that unknowingly I found myself in another attic type room, similar to my abuse some four decades earlier. In anger, deep desperation and homeless, hot tears of deep grief poured down my cheeks.

‘If you want me alive Jesus, you’ll have to raise me from the dead’.

I drank half a bottle of Martini and deliberately, took many paracetamol to end my life. Yet God in his infinite mercy and love sent His angels to me in my hour of need. By His Grace and love alone I am alive. This was for me the beginning of deep healing and for many years I was in and out of hospital, such was the severity of my breakdown. This breakdown became my breakthrough and the truth of my abuse hidden from me until the right time, came to light.

As a very young baby continuing until the age of ten years, I was systematically abused in various forms and in many towns and cities. I was one of many innocent children trapped and sold within the sex industry, which ironically often took place in attic type rooms, similar to the one I found in London. I did not want to believe about my past, but finally after many years, I have slowly accepted the truth and have allowed Jesus to come into those deep broken places to heal me.

Today, many years later, I look out upon the estuary where I live, listen to all the different kinds of birds, for God in his love knows how much I love birds! God has planted within me His peace that passes all understanding. I know what it means to be alive and it is all because of Jesus. Not only do I have the blessed assurance and foretaste of the glory to come in Heaven, I delight in being alive now

Thank you Jesus!

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (John 8:36)

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