The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
07/29/16
Great message...great job with this entry.

Blessings~
07/29/16
Excellent job! Very informative and paragraphs flowed well. I like that you made it personal by asking your reader questions.
I like what you have written about trust.

When I think of trust, I see the 3,000 people believing what Peter said about Jesus when they asked what they should do. They trusted Peter when they were baptized for the forgiveness of their sin and received the gift of the Holy Spirit.

God's Spirit will help us as we trust him for help.

Keep writing what the Spirit puts in your heart.
This is a nice mini-sermon. I liked how you used the story of Thomas to deliver your message. My favorite part was when you shared your story and beliefs. I felt like I could really relate to you and could see how much thought and prayer you've put into this.

In the beginning, you started using the third person (his or her). For me, that opening line could feel a bit daunting. I almost felt like you were saying if I didn't know the story of Thomas, I didn't read my Bible enough. While that statement is probably true, personally, it puts me on the defensive. (I have health problems that affect my memory, and while I'm personally familiar with Thomas, there are some Bible stories that I can't remember, and I tend to judge myself harshly. I know it's my hang up, but it also demonstrates the point I'm trying to make about selecting the right voice,) Instead, I might encourage you to start out with a slight recounting of the story and how it impacted you. When you used the first person singular instead of the first person plural (we) or second person (you), I felt like an old friend was having a chat with me and sharing her wisdom. I want to stress this is just my opinion, and others may prefer that sermon-like message. You have to figure out what works best for you. A great way to do that is to read and comment on other stories as much as possible. Ask yourself, "Why did I like Story A more than Story B?"
No matter what you prefer, I'd urge you to stay consistent with your voice instead of switching from his to we to you to I and back again.

You did a great job of writing on topic. You really made me stop and think about the differences in the words and what it means in my life. Making a reader stop and think is a great compliment for an author. I can feel your passion. I've no doubt God will use you and your writing to do amazing things. You've done a great job so far, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
I don't read other comments before I comment, but the comments go to show how different people like different things. I think asking questions makes it less personal. There is no right or wrong answer though. The important thing is you follow the Holy Spirit's promoting. God bless!
08/01/16
I like the way you presented your article, making the reader think clearly about the words: faith, trust and belief. There was a serious intent to engage the reader in your message. Thanks for sharing.