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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Trees (12/05/05)
One day in the distance I saw what looked like a tree in the middle of the parched land. I walked and walked until at last I came to the huge expansive tree.
I walked in under the branches into the shade that it provided and sat down thinking man this is very cool and refreshing.
Then this voice said to me why do you sit in my shade, you that cursed me and cast me aside.
With astonishment I stood up and ran around the tree looking everywhere for the source of the voice, but to no avail!
Then the voice came again: why do you seek my shelter when you cast me into the river!
I stood there in bewilderment looking up and all around the tree, but saw nothing.
I answered: who are you and what did I do to you, as I have no memory of what you say.
The voice answered you held me in your open hand looked at me and said you are nothing but a stone, hard and cold with no life in you and with that you cast me into the river.
I sank to the bottom and rolled with the flow of the river until a machine dug me out of the river and cast me away from the banks throwing me to the outer reaches of its reach.
There I sprouted and a young family watered me daily until one by one they past away. As each one died the family brought the deceased and buried them just under my shade.
Now there is no one to water me.
Well I said what can I do to repay your grace, can I ask of you forgiveness for the ungraceful way I cast you aside?
Forgiven you are, before you asked I have forgiven you, just as I have provided shelter for you and clothed and feed you all these years.
Once again I asked: whom are you? Are you spirit or a figment of my imagination?
There was a time of silence then the voice came again I and the Lord Jesus and I come to you in spirit and in all truth so that you will believe that I am the Son of God who was born of a virgin and raised as one of you until my time was near that I should die on the cross and be raised again by the father.
You held be but disowned me casting me aside, but I had faith that one day you would see my glory and come unto me.
Wow I said I have always believed, but I could never find you nor could I see you.
That is because you did not believe with all your heart soul and strength. Now because your need was great and you have opened your heart to my grace and spirit I have come that you might see and believe.
At that moment I bowed to my knees and prayed: Thank you lord for being so faithful and believing In me that I would finally open my heart to you immense Love and accept you into my heart forever. Amen
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Garnet Miller 
12/12/05
This could be a wonderful devotional type story, but it needs a little polish.

First, a space or two between paragraphs would help the reader.

Second, all dialogue needs quotatation marks. If the dialogue is from the Spirit and is more "felt" than "heard", the words can be italicized or typed in bold print.

Without the quotation marks and other accompanying punctuation, it was hard to know who was speaking to who.
Teresa Hollums
12/13/05
This was an interesting twist on the cursed tree. I agree that we often only believe in God when we are desperate. May your desperateness deepen into everyday a need for God. The devotional was appreciated.
Jan Ackerson
12/13/05
This is an interesting allegory, and if polished up has the potential to be very powerful. Add punctuation, capitalize your title, work on sentence structure, etc. This reads like a very good rough draft.

I haven't read any other entries with quite this approach to trees, and I appreciate your originality.
Gini Branch
12/13/05
Liked the concept. Your writing flows well. That grammar and form thing improves the flow as much as the word arrangemet. It's a pain, but ...