Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS (Don't write about the song) (04/16/15)
-
TITLE: A Pearl of Wisdom | Previous Challenge Entry
By Loni Bowden-Horn
04/23/15 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
A hand-written note fluttered out of the case which read:
Dearest Bethy,
Beauty like a pearl,
Hidden deep within your soul
Glistens in the light
You have grown into a beautiful and vibrant young woman. When I peered into those hazel eyes the day you were born, I made a promise to both you and God that I would never stop loving you. I prayed for God’s wisdom to show you how powerful love can be when it is shared with others.
When the Holy Spirit tugged at my heart those many years ago, I made a commitment to follow Jesus. With this new responsibility, came the daunting task of being the kind of father who would teach you, by example rather than words, to trust in God.
God knew what a special daughter you were when he placed you in the loving arms of your mother and me. You have brought such joy to my life and I will always treasure the memories we share together.
God will always be there to guide your steps as you continue on the pathway that He has chosen for you. May God continue to bless you and William as you share your love for one another.
Love Dad
*************************************************************************************
The piano swelled to a crescendo as the sweet sound of music filled the room when my father and I entered the sanctuary. Before the processional began, I squeezed my father’s hand for reassurance. I sensed he squeezed back because he was afraid of letting me go.
There wasn’t a dry eye in the chapel as my father and I slowly walked down the aisle. His black tuxedo covered up his emaciated body due to stage-four cancer. My father’s large frame had wasted away as the disease continued to ravage his body.
Pastor Benjamin, the wedding official, was waiting for my father and I had the altar.
Pastor Benjamin: “We are blessed to have so many family and friends witness this special ceremony.”
Pastor Benjamin: Beth’s father Dave did not know if he would be here to witness Beth’s wedding due to his progressing disease. It was Dave’s dying wish to be able to walk Beth down the aisle to give his blessing.
Pastor Benjamin: “Who presents this woman to be married to this man?”
Beth’s Dad: “I do. My heart is full of love as I bless this marriage. I ask that you care for her and love her unconditionally as I have.”
Pastor Benjamin: Beth would like to say a few words to her father.
Dad,
You have always been there for me. There are no words to express how much your love has meant in my life. You have instilled values in me to have love and faith in God.
You had a knack with people and accepting them for who they were and not trying to change them. I felt safe in your presence because I knew you would wait up for me no matter what time of day or night it was.
You made sure to come to my school activities such as plays, band concerts, and track meets. You were there cheering me on to do my very best.
You were there to comfort our family during the sudden death of Jeremy, my brother, at the age of seventeen. Even though your son was in God’s presence, you stood at the casket and spoke to each of his classmates about the importance of knowing Jesus.
You have always been there for me through the joy, heartache, laughter, and tears.
I am blessed that God chose you to be my father.
Love Beth
Remember Bethy, your mother, Jeremy and I will be waiting for you by one of the twelve gates made of pearls as you enter heaven. Jesus is preparing the grandest wedding ceremony with other believers. Can you image the guest list? Until that time:
Arise joyfully
Each new day is a blessing
Nary be a tomorrow
**********************************************************************
Editor's note: This story is based on a dying man's wish to walk his daughter down the aisle. All characters are fictitious.
To make the wedding seem authentic, I used the following websites in my research: www.christianity.about.com, "Samples of the Giving Away of the Bride" by Mary Fairchild and www.youhadmeatido.
This story is in memory of my father who didn't get a chance to walk me down the aisle. He often joked it would take an old-fashioned shotgun wedding to get me to the altar. Many of my thoughts in my letter are in tribute to him.
I would like to honor my mother who continues to guide me and she gave me a pearl necklace to wear in my wedding.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


Red ink:
Remember to use quotation marks every time someone is speaking.
My father and I at(had)
I'm so sorry for your loss, but how wonderful you had a loving dad, and beautiful memories. And what a lovely way to pay tribute to him.
I'm sure it brings you great comfort to know you'll meet again one day in the future at the pearly gates.
I loved this touching piece.
Thank you.
God bless~
I've just a couple bits of red ink. The opening line was passive. Instead, you could open with an active line just by switching the words:Every girl dreams about her father...
I also noticed you used I instead of me. A trick for that is to take out the other name and the word and. You wouldn't say Pastor was waiting for I, so it would be Pastor was waiting for my father and me. I thought it was slightly distracting to switch from a story to a script in the middle. You could have used that part to do more showing. For example: I trembled as I listened to Pastor. "We are blessed..."
Overall, you really did a wonderful job of bringing the characters to live for the reader. I was super impressed that you didn't have a POV shift when describing how the Father might have felt when he squeezed the daughter's hand. Many people wouldn't have used the words It seemed, but would have shifted the POV by telling how the Father feels. The reader can only know how the MC feels and you nailed that. I thank you for sharing such a difficult, yet beautiful piece. You nailed the topic in a fresh and creative way. This is a story I'll definitely remember.