True Friendship | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: True Friendship | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joanna Lynn
12/03/14
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I have had quite a few abusive family relationships throughout my life. I was called stupid, told that the only reason for females was to serve men and everything about me and what I did (speaking, writing, art, and so on) was ridiculed. I was told that I wasn't a good friend. I was never given a good reason why, but I believed it. I was even told, whenever I showed my hurt or anger, I was being selfish.

I came to the conclusion that the only way to live a full life without pain was to never let anyone into my heart. I also decided if I couldn't be happy, I could at least help make others happy. So, I learned to hide in plain sight where I could still help and be a part of life without calling attention to myself. I used humor and became a good listener to help others. I mastered keeping conversations focused on the other person. I built many walls and defenses to protect myself from the attacks that came so frequently and I used them with everyone, even those who never attacked and never would.

This was how I lived until I became friends with Joni. Joni and I became acquainted at church from Sunday school and several Precepts Bible studies. One Sunday morning, she approached me to be in the Precepts class she had just agreed to lead. This invitation came right in the middle of a time that I was helping my husband recuperate from a horrific accident. I was hesitant, but she said that we would be doing each lesson over two weeks rather than one, as they were setup to do, so that it wouldn't be as much work. So, I said I would come.

When I walked in the first day, Joni pulled me aside to tell me that she was planning to have each lady have a prayer partner throughout the study. I about turned around and walked out the door. She quickly said that she planned on the two of us being prayer partners because she knew what was happening in my life. She evidently sensed that I would have a hard time wanting to share or burden anyone with all the issues that were happening. I found a seat instead of the door.

Through that season, I felt and saw God move in ways I had never experienced. It was awe-inspiring and a time that I will never forget. But something else happened through that prayer partnership: God knit our souls together just as He did with Jonathan and David in the Bible. Our friendship grew. We laughed so much when we talked and got together and enjoyed doing similar activities. We also talked about deep subjects and God used both of us to speak into the life of the other.

Because of my past, though, I tried to keep my distance and keep things focused on Joni as much as possible, but she would have nothing to do with that plan. Slowly, my life's book began to open and Joni learned more about me than I had ever shared with anyone. I honestly kept expecting her to walk away, but she refused to budge. A few years later, my husband died and Joni was there for me through it all.

She and her family moved to another state about a year later. I was nervous that it would be the end or our friendship, but it has continued to grow. We came to realize that God had given each of us different spectrums of a ministry that Joni felt led to start. We were both amazed but He has continued to speak to us individually about the same subjects, at the same time, many times over.

I came to realize that the walls I had built to protect myself were now holding me captive. God built a soul sister friendship between the two of us. Through our friendship, I was freed to start discovering who God made me to be and start to open doors I had slammed shut and locked when my abusers told me I wasn't good enough to excel at those activities. I was able to recognize the beauty in my other friendships with ladies I hold so dear. Best of all, I learned that the best Friend I have is the God who created me and never once told me that I wasn't good enough.

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