Forever changed | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Forever changed | Previous Challenge Entry
By Carol Burns
10/08/14
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Having always been the “good girl”, too afraid of getting in trouble to ever dare do anything risky, I was a born rule-follower. I don’t remember much from my early childhood, but life was hard and I felt so alone. My parents professed to be Christians, were Sunday School teachers and had us at our “church of the month” whenever the doors were opened. People thought our lives were as calm as the façade we put up day after day, totally unaware of the turmoil we lived in behind closed doors. I was the oldest of 3 and therefore had higher standards to meet, or so it seemed to me. I was painfully shy and socially awkward so I didn’t have many friends, especially since we were often in tiny churches without many kids my age.

I was in 3 different schools for Kindergarten due to various moves, but was happy to continue in my last school for first grade. Somewhere along the line, I was sent home with a note to parents about warning their children not to accept candy from strangers as there were older kids hanging around our campus trying to give unsuspecting little ones drug tainted candy. That settled it in my mother’s mind - I would HAVE to go to a private school the next year no matter what it took. I loved my new school and my second grade teacher. I also loved that my mom and siblings were all there since my mom had taken a job in order to afford the tuition, but her employment required my brother and sister to be placed in Pre-K.

When the school year ended, I was excited by the idea of summer. But we still spent most of our days at my school as my mother worked in a child care program offered there. The highlight of the summer ended up being Vacation Bible School. I’d been before so I had a better idea of what to expect as we began the week. I enjoyed the games and the singing and the crafts as I had before. However, after a year in a Christian school with chapels and Bible classes throughout the week, I found myself paying a little more attention to the teaching that year. My crazy 2nd grade teacher was the main speaker which meant a lot of laughing and interaction. Each day, the teaching time ended with an invitation to stay behind to talk to someone about starting a personal relationship with Jesus. I always perked up at this part as it signaled the transition to snack and play time.

I can’t say I remember any particular tugging on my heart as I scurried out day after day. And I don’t remember the name of the girl I sat with that year. But on the last day, we somehow decided to stick around and see what staying behind was all about. She was taken aside before me, and I began to feel nervous. As one of the workers, my mom was the one who eventually approached me. Though I do not remember what she said to me, seeds of truth settled into my heart and when she asked, I did not hesitate to bow my head and repeat a prayer asking Jesus to come live inside me and save me from the things I did wrong no matter how hard I tried to be good.

I went outside following our prayer and a hug from my teacher. I got my snow cone, headed to the playground and went about business as usual. Parents came to pick up their children until my family and the other workers were all that were left. There had been something building up inside me as the crowds filtered down and I was able to pull away on my own. When it was time to go home, I remember going out the front doors, literally skipping to the car – and I was not a “skippy” child. Though I didn’t know the name for it, I was filled with joy at the realization that I would never be alone again. Just knowing that Jesus was now my Friend who would always be there and that I could share everything with brought me such comfort. My life was headed to even darker times, but I now had a Lifeline that would see me through all that lay before me.

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