The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/21/05
I liked this piece a lot--I could really feel your protagonist's anxiety. It took me a bit to get used to the italics, which are usually used just to indicate thoughts, not actions. But all in all, a well-written, emotionally authentic story.
I think this is one of your better stories. I really liked the beginning. It was an interesting scene to draw in the reader. The storyline and dialog were really good too.
11/22/05
Only a few tense and punctuation needs, but well written. I could 'feel' her anxiety with her. I thought you built it to the ending well.:)
11/25/05
I could feel the anxiety here. Well done on bringing the reader in. Your story is nicely told and it makes me want to hear more.
Very touching and I'm guessing it's based on a true story. You've built the tension right throughout (I thought at first the tension was due to flying and I was going to say I can relate totally! LOL) and brought in beautifully how God's Hand was on your lives even perhaps when you didn't realise it. Good writing and well done.
11/26/05
Touching from start to finish. I Love your Article. Touching and Well Written. God Bless, Helen
11/26/05
Beautiful - just beatiful. And very well done. Good job!
11/27/05
Wow - bet there wasn't a dry eye in the place... well told.
11/27/05
Touching encounter. You created her emotional tension well. Watch the dialogue/use of quotes, it was a little confusing. Great tale of God blessing us beyond our fears!