Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Pigs Might Fly (10/31/13)
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TITLE: Your as crazy as a Bed Bug | Previous Challenge Entry
By Deborah Sampson
11/06/13 -
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Grandma Wilson just shook her head and turned away from him as she tried to hide her smile. “Yep.” She would say. “He is a cutaneous old goat but he’s mine.”
You see they had been already married 55 years by the time I really got to know them. They had mom late in life and so by the time I came about, Grandpa was almost past his prime. (He would say.)
I’m Joshua Norris and I want to tell you about some of the stories that Grandpa told me. As Grandpa said often with his sayings, “Hang on to your hats or don’t get your tail feathers ruffled and don’t beat around the bush. Of course his best was ‘Mark my words.’
When mom was little she had a bad habit of running away to one of the neighbor’s houses. Sometimes with no shoes or coat depending on the time of day, it could even be in her pajamas.
Grandma would send Grandpa around to see where she ended up. This time it was at Charlie’s and Wanda’s house. She wanted to see the seven puppies that were born.
Grandpa found her in their barn, in the midst of the seven puppies and Margo the mommy dog. She was gently petting the mommy as she watched the puppies squirming around.
“Isabelle, why are you always running away? Your mother is worried sick and I think you’d better come with me now.” Grandpa said as stern as he could.
“Jeepers, Daddy, I wanted to see the pups and no one would take me.” She smiled up at her father. He knew she had not asked anyone to take her.
“Dag nab bit, little one, you could get hurt just taking off as you please.” Now let’s go home. Your mom is waiting.
Many times she would do this and it stretched into her high school years and as she got older so did Grandpa and Grandma.
Other than taking off, mom was good at everything else; she was even teaching the younger kids in Sunday school. Mom did know her Bible. She had giving her heart to the Lord at the age of eleven.
When she turned sixteen she wanted to learn to drive, and that was something that both parents didn’t want.
“I don’t think you are old enough to drive, darling, maybe next year.” Mom would tell her. Why they couldn’t keep her home now.
Grandpa told her that ‘Pigs might fly’ before she would get her license. My mom did not think that this was real funny.
“Dad, everyone is driving, it’s the thing. Please, please let me drive. I am very careful, I will drive the speed limit and –and”
“You can stop there my girl; the answer is still no, when you are seventeen you may ask me again.”
Mom knew that Grandpa’s mind was made up and she would have to except it. It was for her own good.
I am telling you of mom’s escapades and Grandpa’s many sayings because you see they kind of stick with you. My mom and dad let me drive at sixteen. I had no problems and I turned out great, well good. I was smart enough not to follow in my Mom’s footsteps.
The other day my own daughter came to me and I just knew what she was going to ask me.
“Dad, will you teach me to drive so I can get my license? I am sixteen.” She told me confidently. This said right after she had come an hour late last night.
I looked at my beautiful daughter and smiled as I heard from my own lips those words of my Grandpa. “Pigs might fly before you get your license.”
I wish that I had a camera to capture the look on her face. Or maybe not. I knew in my heart as our Lord knows us, how some are ready to go on, while others are not. I did
not feel confident that my daughter was ready.
As we are responsible for the children that God gives us, we must make decisions that are best for them. I wanted to say yes but knew that in my heart it must be no for now.
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Although mainly fiction, parts are not.
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Nicely done.
God bless~
I noticed several spelling and grammatical errors, so it might help to have another pair of eyes read it over before submission. For example, the Your in your title should be spelled with the contraction, You're.
Keep writing, I think you have a real gift for storytelling.
Well written story. I liked the time-line. It seemed easy to follow.
Memories are made for us to write about and even embellish.
Keep writing.
You have a great start at working on letting the dialog build the characters and suspense. Just take it to the next level. Take this line: Grandpa told her that ‘Pigs might fly’ before she would get her license. My mom did not think that this was real funny.
Just by switching it up some, you could do something like this: Grandpa raised his right eyebrow as crinkles raced across his red face. "Pigs'll fly 'fore you get yar license!"
With tears filling her eyes, Mom stomped off to her bedroom, slamming the door just in case Grandpa didn't realize how upset she was.
I did take some liberties to show you how dialog can build the characters and paint the reader a picture.
You have a great start on it. Keep writing and reading and your writing will blossom from good to outstanding. You took me back into my own field of memories. It was just what I needed today--to frolic in my past. Thank you for that gift.
If you haven't heard of Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards, check it out. Jan gives great tips to all levels of writers. God bless.