The Official Writing Challenge
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Very creative story. I flirted with this same theme myself this week before going a different route. Be careful of punctuation; I noticed several comma/ semi-colon errors. Overall this was an entertaining read with a clear message. Well done. Keep writing!
Gripping. Rattling. Imaginative. I enjoyed the journey . . .
When Satan as prosecuting attorney puts us on trial, Jesus, our defense attorney, comes to the bar and quietly tells the Judge, "I've already paid for this man's freedom." His father, the judge,quickly dismisses the charges. Thanks for the reminder of our advocate in heaven who defends us against all of Satan's accusations.
I really enjoyed the story. I think you did a wonderful job of describing the characters and the scenes.

Try to do more showing. For example, take your opening line and switch around just a bit: Tom swallowed back the bile that bubbled up his throat as he watched humans locked into tiny cages screeching for help.
Hopefully that paints a picture for the reader and builds the suspense as well.

I think you did a great job of delivering your message. You don't need that last paragraph because you did such a great job of letting the reader become immersed into the story that they get the message. You covered the topic in a couple of different ways. All in all I think you have an inspirational story here. Good job keep writing.
Your entry is thought provoking, and contains a wonderful basic truth. In Christ, we are safe from all that Satan can muster against us. He has indeed rattled the darkness and conquered it! The images are vivid and description well done.
Great descriptive piece! I enjoyed the meaning, messages, and the way you wove it into a clever and powerful story.

Nicely done! God bless~
From what I've read so far, this is definitely a unique take on the topic. It has a great message to it. Keep up the good work.
Congratulations on ranking 10th in level one! Happy Dance!!