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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Drip (04/25/13)
Deluge
Peter gets an invitation from his brother Andrew, “We have found the Christ.” He told him, and light dripped into Peter’s soul.
“You are Simon, so of John,” Jesus said, “You will be called Cephas, or Peter” which meant rock and another drip plopped in.
Peter sees Jesus collect more disciples. Drip.
Peter sees as Jesus turns water into wine, the first miracle. Drip, drip, drip.
Peter watches as Jesus throws out the money changers from the temple, “Get these out of here! How dare you turn my father’s house into a market!” Drip, drip. “Destroy this temple , and I will raise it again in three days,” Drip?
Peter is there as Jesus heals the royal official’s son, the lame man at the pool. Drip, drip.
Jesus claims he is the Son of God, and Peter listens. Drip.
Peter eats as Jesus feeds five thousand people. Drip.
Terrified, Peter watches Jesus walk on water. Trickle.
Jesus is transfigured in blinding white before Peter. Confused Peter experiences some sort of internal flood.
Many people desert Jesus. “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know you are the Holy One of God.” Peter confesses, Peter realizes, Peter’s soul is in a deluge of joy and faith. He is with the eternally awaited messiah.
So with our personal epiphany of Jesus, drowning in the ecstatic discovery, we have found the Holy One the Christ of God.


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Member Comments
Member
Date
dub W
05/07/13
Affectation and interpretation of Biblical events is difficult at best. For prose, use dialog style. Take care with language and arrangement.
Yvonne Blake 
05/07/13
This is very poetic. I like how you show the progression of Christ's work in Peter's heart. Well done.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/07/13
This is an interesting take on the topic and jesus and his disciples. I like the way you compiled it. The only thing I would suggest is to go back and look at how many lines started with a name. I think you'll be surprised. Try varying the sentence structure to keep the reader on his toes. For example, you might want to try something like this: As Jesus collects more disciples, Peter constantly watches.
I just took the same words and rearranged them so they didn't start with a noun or pronoun. Overall, you did a nice job of retelling the story. Keep writing, vary your sentence structure and add more details and you will find good messages turning into great ones. :)