The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 459 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/07/13
Affectation and interpretation of Biblical events is difficult at best. For prose, use dialog style. Take care with language and arrangement.
05/07/13
This is very poetic. I like how you show the progression of Christ's work in Peter's heart. Well done.
This is an interesting take on the topic and jesus and his disciples. I like the way you compiled it. The only thing I would suggest is to go back and look at how many lines started with a name. I think you'll be surprised. Try varying the sentence structure to keep the reader on his toes. For example, you might want to try something like this: As Jesus collects more disciples, Peter constantly watches.
I just took the same words and rearranged them so they didn't start with a noun or pronoun. Overall, you did a nice job of retelling the story. Keep writing, vary your sentence structure and add more details and you will find good messages turning into great ones. :)