The Official Writing Challenge
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This is truly a beautiful story which moved me to tears. I like how the phrase "a walk in the park" introduced the themes of this piece.
This is such a sweet story. It shows we never know when our words will make a huge difference in someone's life. You also did a nice job of showing. This sentence did a great job of helping me see the picture in my mind: Frank, her husband, sat beside her rubbing his hands across his forehead while drops of sweat fell from him. I also love the wife's wise last words. it's a powerful message.
Oh, this is good.

One bit of red ink... I'd start with Grace, rather than the sun. :) Something like "Grace knelt in her rose garden, the beaming sun falling upon her. Or something like that.

Nice job.
I like your unique take on the topic. You did a great job of showing the husband's devotion.
There are a few areas that need polishing. Overall, a good job.
On a reread, it made sense why her "smile shone as bright as the sun up above" that day. I felt like I was there for their tender moments, right before her passing. You have an endearing story with a triumphant message.
What a beautiful story, so tenderly told. I love how it emphasises how God goes before, in preparing us for what is to come. Some wonderful truths here.
Just one small thing - I believe it should be the singular 'wife's' rather than 'Looking deep into his wives pale blue eyes' - otherwise he has multiple wives!
Thank you again. Hope this does well.
This was a beautiful story, It was sad for one, but so joyous for the one going home. I enjoyed this, it had deep meaning.
God Bless.....
A beautiful, powerful message. This is really very good....well written and touching the heart.

God Bless, Lynn
What a great way to deliver a powerful and important message. With your MC's words you captured this reader and had me nodding his head, saying great job!
Your words wrapped around me in a bittersweet, convicting way. We never know when it will be the last time we look in a loved ones eyes.
Superb reminder to cherish the people God has put in our lives.
Thank you.
This is a very touching piece with a good message. There were a few minor "mechanical" errors, but they did not diminish the story's impact. Nice job! :)
After seeing your brick, I thought I'd reread it. It is still a griping story. One thing I noticed is a POV shift. When you tell a story the reader can only know what the MC sees, feels, thinks. You start off with Frank's POV when he is amazed at her beauty. But later on you switch to Grace's POV when her strong faith is noted and later when she starts to say more but dies before she can. Both of these things would call for the MC to know what is in her mind. By not switching POV it also helps you do more showing than telling. For example knowing that Grace was about to say more would mean we could read her mind but if you say she opened her mouth but only a gargled sound escaped as she took her last breath. It's a tricky thing and something I'm working on myself. I always thought if I told a story in third person I could peek into any character but unless you are telling the story in an omniscient POV which is considered old-fashioned by must publishers and often the narrator will talk directly to the reader you need to only see, hear, feel or know things that the MC experiences. Again you did do some great showing and the story touched my heart but working on not allowing a POV shift will make a huge difference in your stories. Hugs, Shann