The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
06/18/12
Very heartfelt. Great use of repetition.
06/19/12
Oh, this is great.

I wasn't sure who the speaker was supposed to be and who he/she was speaking to, but honestly that didn't detract from the entry as a whole.

Very nice job on this. I too love the repetition.
I like the honest, heart-felt way this is presented. All of us at times feel the same kind of frustration(s) with ourselves and the narrator rightly directs us to the one answer that remains the same throughout the ages: Forgive. Nicely done.
This is quite lovely. I can see the talent as you start at one point and poetically come back full circle. This is a precious gift.

My only red ink would be not to overuse the exclamation point for when you do, it diminishes your exclamation instead of enhancing it. Plus the words you use, love proud, excited are words that stand alone and show such emotion that it is redundant to use the mark with lines as powerful as the ones you penned so easily. (well you make it look easy:)

This is a bdelightful piece that takes the topic and holds it high for all to see and appreciate. Beautifully done.
06/20/12
Wow! I loved it. Thank you. God bless~
I had to come back and read this again. It seems to get more powerful with each reading. At first I pictured my husband saying these words to me as he has had to carry me through so many difficult times. I have a chronic illness and am often in the hospital and feel like a burden to those around me. But your words give me hope. Then I read it again and saw me saying the words to each of my children as they enter the next phases of their journeys. One is getting married, one is entering the Seminary and the baby is graduating from high school. Your words have done so much for my heart and in so many different ways. there is no doubt that the Holy Spirit spoke to you as you wrote these words down. What a gift your obedience and talent has given me. Bless you.
06/25/12
There is a lot of emotion in this entry and I commend your ability to write poetry. You leave this reader with questions and answers beautifully addressed. A job well done!