Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Guard Your Heart (06/08/12)
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TITLE: THIS BROKEN HEART OF MINE | Previous Challenge Entry
By CrisC Ramirez
06/14/12 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
that I haven’t said already.
At times when
I’m tired and fed up.
When I feel unappreciated
and cheated out of a
wonderful blessing.
When the day just drags on
and on, and on, and on.
What could I say to you
that I haven’t said already.
Forgive me.
When this body just cannot
go on like it used to.
These legs cannot run
and pick you up as before.
These arms are getting fragile
and loosing strength.
When my mind is running rampant,
feeling exhausted and on edge.
What could I say to you
that I haven’t said already.
Forgive me.
My broken heart aches and cries
at times and I take it out
on those I love most.
Lord, forgive me for I have sinned!
Forgive me.
But…
What I say to you
that I haven’t said already
…is this--
My heart is full of love…for you!
I am proud of you!
I am excited for your future,
and the blessings God has for you!
My heart jumps for joy!
What I say to you
that I haven’t said already
…is this--
I have strong faith in God.
I believe Jesus died for me
on the cross, but He lives still.
He walks and talks to me
every day when I pick up my bible!
He fills me with His promise and peace.
There are reasons for everything!
What I will say to you
…is this—
Forgive me.
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I wasn't sure who the speaker was supposed to be and who he/she was speaking to, but honestly that didn't detract from the entry as a whole.
Very nice job on this. I too love the repetition.
My only red ink would be not to overuse the exclamation point for when you do, it diminishes your exclamation instead of enhancing it. Plus the words you use, love proud, excited are words that stand alone and show such emotion that it is redundant to use the mark with lines as powerful as the ones you penned so easily. (well you make it look easy:)
This is a bdelightful piece that takes the topic and holds it high for all to see and appreciate. Beautifully done.