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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hmph! (03/04/10)
“All Aboard!” the ship Self
Cried old Captain Me
Bring lots of big ego
On the Rebellious sea
And we’ll sail by the Islands
Of I, Me and Mine
Where it’s all about I
All of the time

It is there on these islands
Explained Captain Me
Where Ill show you an ugly
Quite dangerous tree
It’s a tree known as Hmph!
With roots that do hide
Hidden deep in the soil
The soil’s called pride

Hmph! trees grow from small seed
That you bury in dirt
Seeds called resentment
Bitterness and hurt
Water them daily
With self pity tears
And the hmph! tree will live
For many long years

And the fruit Hmphs! produce
Grow at a furious rate
There are several varieties
Like anger and hate
If you use fertilizer
The best stuffs called Fear
The fruit will infect
All it comes near

Hmphs! grow best in the dark
They do not like the light
Their appearance grotesque
A rather unpleasant sight
Yet they are very abundant
In Me, Mine and I
And I know what your wondering
You are wondering why?


In I, Me, and Mine
Yes all that you do
Is focused directly
And only on you
So as the Hmphs! grow
It is utter futility
To think about others
Showing any humility

Now we’ll leave the ship self
We will leave Captain Me
And get on the ship Kindness
On the Obedient Sea
Heading to the land of our Savior
Sweet Jesus our Lord
Are you ready to go?
If you are climb aboard!

This Land is called Mercy
It’s a place that shines bright
You will find no Hmphs! here
Not one Hmph! in sight
There are rivers of scripture
That flow through the land
Drink of these waters
You will begin to understand

As the Father commanded
We are to love others
We were created by God
We are sisters and brothers
Remember our Jesus
Let his light burn within
He will lead you from self
And the smugness of sin

With a heart of forgiveness
Let’s in selflessness labor
To obey Gods commandments
Showing compassion for our neighbor
With our eyes on the Cross
Let us do what is right
And you won’t see a Hmph!
They can’t live in God’s light!
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This article has been read 963 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Donna Wolther
03/11/10
There were some really cute lines in your poem that I enjoyed alot.
Verna Mull
03/11/10
This poem was cute, and yet, brought out so many truths. I feel that it was really well done. There is something about rhyme that convicts, shames, gives joy and then peace. I really enjoyed this one.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/12/10
This was a great poem that told a wonderful message. The only thing that niggled at me a little was the line about I, as it should be about me and wouldn't interfere with the rhyming sequence. But no matter what this was an outstanding poem that showed incredible talent. With poems you're allowed a little leeway with the grammar anyway. So again I say Great poem.
AnneRene' Capp
03/12/10
I just have to use "WOW", our next challenge word. This was superb for me (not a poet at all), but this was just so imaginative, fun and soul exposing. I can't seem to find the right words here, but this was great in my opinion!
Sarah Elisabeth
03/19/10
Mark, congrats on placing third in level 1! Be sure to check the highest rankings on the forum:

http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=419252#419252