The Shedding of Leaves | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The Shedding of Leaves | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tiffany Miller
09/02/09
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The air had a very distinct smell to it, like someone had mixed together apple cider and piles of leaves and then released the scent into the crisp October air. Sara inhaled deeply and tipped her face towards the clear sky. It was cool outside, but the warmth of the sun seemed to saturate through her clothes and skin, even daring to graze the coolest parts of her heart.

Sara bristled and looked back at the sidewalk. These afternoon walks had become her favorite time of the day but today she was distracted. It had been nearly five months since everything- her hopes and her plans and all that she had counted on- had changed. Usually she kept her mind securely under control so as to avoid the dangerous path it was now taking. She didn’t like granting those deepest parts of her even the slightest glimpse of sunlight for fear of being consumed by them. And yet still, the thoughts now came unbidden.

Five months. Next month would have been their four year wedding anniversary. Their baby would have been two months old.

She shook her head as the first tears sprang to her eyes. Five months ago she’d been full of life with nothing but dreams in her heart. What did she have now? A failed marriage and the memory of what could have been?

“How is that fair, God?” she spoke out loud. She’d been doing more of that lately. “How is it fair that I lose my baby and then my husband?”

I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you…

Sara shivered as the words echoed across her mind. She’d read that very passage in Jeremiah earlier in the week. She wondered now, as she had then, what God’s plans could possibly be and how the past five months of her life could manage to fit inside them.

Is there anything else for me? she wondered silently. Do you have any plans for me, Lord?

In all things God works for the good of those who love Him…

She stopped walking as she was reminded of this second verse. All things?

“All things, God? How is that even possible when I’m surrounded by so much… death?” As if to accentuate her point she looked around at all the trees heading directly for hibernation. Across the street was a garden that was empty and brown, fitting symbolism for how her life seemed now. How could good come out of something like this?

I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly…

The tears were flowing freely now as the words of Christ applied themselves as a balm to Sara’s wounds. She could have life, not death. Wasn’t that a promise? Perhaps the life- the new life that she desperately craved- wasn’t that far beyond her reach. Maybe all that was required was the shedding of the past, much in the same way the trees shed their colorful leaves each time this year. Because if the old leaves didn’t fall, the new ones couldn’t grow, right?

“But God… I don’t know if I can let go yet. It’s going to hurt too much.”

I am with you always, even to the end of the age…

Sara closed her eyes, feeling the sunlight seeping into her once more. It was going to hurt to shed her past, but she didn’t have to do it alone. God was going to walk every painful step along with her, reminding her over and over of His promises. Reminding her that His plans for her were good, He would never leave her, and even in what seemed like the midst of death, there could be new life.

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