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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Birth (infancy) (08/20/09)
The Gift of Joy


Timing is always perfect with God. He knows what’s best for us.

After a long period of time waiting, after a miscarriage five years ago, God answered and gave the desire of my heart. The reward, my precious gift from above in my womb was growing. What a joy! Praise God!

But the enemy advanced trying to steal this joy, this gift. A night where God allowed and planned for such thing to happen, I bled profusely, thinking, “oh no don’t let it happen God, not again!” Tears started to pour down my eyes and fear enveloped me. Did I just have another miscarriage? My husband called for ambulance to rush me to the hospital. I easily gave up; blood still streaming down and my heart crushing into pieces. The ride to the hospital was blurry and so terrifying. I prayed. I thought You gave me this gift? You said that “Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward”? (Psalms 127:3 NKJV) What now?

The ER doctor came and explained to us that I had a spontaneous abortion, another word for miscarriage. The pelvic exam was excruciating. They found a huge blood clot, size of a fist, and concluded that it was my unborn child. My faith faded and ceased. Something I hungered for a long time, gone again.

Sorrow and madness filled my heart. I questioned God. “Do you want me to reject Your promises?” I said. “Is it too much to ask for a child of my own?” No answer.

Three weeks passed. I asked my doctor if I needed to do any other procedure such as the D&C (dilatation and curettage). She confirmed there was no need for it. The only report we were waiting for was the pathology report for the blood clot examination.

I began to accept the things that happened, letting go again and be certain that the future won’t be so bleak. Then God bestowed a dream in my sleep. A hand holding my hand but I could not see whose face it was because it was very bright. I was battling to let go and realized it was His hand. It was a clear picture. He never let me go. Then I woke up. He still cares. He still loves me even when I got angry and had challenged His mysterious ways. I broke down and wailed uncontrollably.

Little did I know that I am dealing with God here who is by the way, the God who can perform miracles, who breathes on life, the author and designer of every birth of creation, the very One who can move mountains. I was astounded and dumbfounded.

On the fourth week, my body became very weak and felt nauseated all of a sudden. My husband took me again in the hospital. I was always stubborn to visit doctors if the need arise but not that night. First thing they did was to put me on that sonogram. “Could I still be pregnant?” I was yearning for in my thoughts. I felt the stigma of insanity for I was still hoping.

The doctor came and gave me a misdiagnosed report that amazed me to my very core. The picture of that sonogram was unbelievable.

My baby is still alive! The arms, legs a baby indeed! Oh God! Did You just show me a miracle? Did You just prove to me that You are who You are? My joy, my gift! You never took my child away! The marvelous work of God manifested in my time of distress. “What an awesome God!” I marveled.

To give birth is to truly experience God’s love and having a piece of Heaven. Today when I look at my baby, who’s so pure, innocent, so fragile looking like an angel. I thank God for His promises.

I will be forever grateful for His unconditional love towards me even when I doubted and failed Him. In spite of my little faith, He was and is true to His Word! My faith increased, assured and sealed. The doctors were in great wonder, couldn’t explain what just occurred. Humans, medicine, science can only go so far but God can do the impossible, the unthinkable.

Now the enemy stoops down in my footstool for I have experienced and received the Lord’s Power!

I named our baby Elijah, which means the Lord is our God.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Bryan Rudolph
08/29/09
My goodness, I’m dizzy with the sheer volume of events cascading throughout your story. What a prolific output! Given the emotional impact conveyed, you barely allowed me to remember to catch my breath. With a bit more trimming of the hedges . . . well, you know . . . less is more idea . . . still, with such talent, I’ll be looking for your next entry. Bryan. 28Aug09Fri.
Deana Thomas
08/29/09
What a roller coaster ride! You describe so well the painful emotions and despair that come with severe disappointment. Your story illustrates how we grow with acceptance and that sometimes, acceptance brings with it the very thing that it seemed God had been with-holding. The writing needs a little editing. Maybe you could submit it to "Critique Circle" on FaithWriters. I'm looking forward to reading more of your writing! You have a gift for descriptive writing.